Luke
and Dollie very nearly make love, but he stops because he realizes
it's only because he's feeling lusty, not because he wants to show
his love.
"I—I
don't understand, Luke. Why?"
He
pulled his shirt on, averting his eyes as she neatened herself.
"I
love you, Dollie. But right now, I just want to satisfy my lust. It
wouldn't be a beautiful moment for you. Your first time should be
special."
"What
will you do?"
His
laugh was harsh, almost angry with a hint of desperation. Luke shook
his head, rubbing his throat. He tried not to laugh again, but he
couldn't keep it inside. He didn't laugh because he felt humor, he
laughed at the irony of his situation. Here he'd been wanting Dollie
because of who and what she was. Now he wanted her only because she
was a handy, willing female. He wouldn't treat her like that. She was
far too special.
"I
expect I'll figure something out, but I'm gonna need some time
alone." He headed out the door and down the hall to the communal
bathroom.
Hesitating,
he made the decision to put more distance between him and Dollie. The
idea that she might hear him made his stomach clench. He trotted up
the stairs. Once he was alone, he couldn't make himself do what he'd
gone there to do. Instead, he sat on the floor, head in his hands.
Tears came unbidden, sobs shook his body. He wanted to roar and yell
and scream like they'd done earlier, but he didn't dare. He'd scare
Dollie and bother his brother, who would not take kindly to being
interrupted.
Lucius
had never had feelings like this. His emotions were in a whirl and he
didn't know how to control himself. He curled up with his arms around
his knees, his head on top, as he cried. A little while later, he
heard movement. Thinking it was Dollie, he wiped his eyes. Raising
his head, he saw his brother in the doorway. Will smiled and joined
his brother on the floor. He lit a cigarette, passing it to Luke.
"Dollie
told me what happened," he said quietly.
Luke
blushed, shaking his head, he turned away from his brother. "God—"
"You
done right, little brother. It woulda been wrong."
"Is
Dollie mad?"
"No.
She's confused, upset. She thinks she did something wrong."
"She
did every damn thing just right, that's the problem. I wanted to do
it. But I couldn't."
"I
get it. Once in awhile, gallantry overrides lust and we have a
moment." Will held his fingers about half an inch apart.
Lucius
laughed. "Yeah, we do. A lot of men would have," he said.
"A
lot of men are complete tools," Will replied. "They don't
think a thing about it. But you're not made like that."
"I
wanted to."
"Yeah,
I would've too, if it'd been me. Pretty girl throws herself at me,
I'm gonna be tempted." He shrugged, nudging his brother.
They
passed the cigarette back and forth until it was finished. Will
flushed the butt.
"So,
do you need—a minute?"
"I'm
okay for now," Luke replied. "I got up here and—dammit,
Will. I can't stop crying. Like a little girl! Why?"
"You
got a lot going on. In your shoes, I'd be blubbering like a baby."
Will
was impetuous and impulsive, but he wasn't one to burst into tears.
Will also didn't mince words or say something just to make his
brother feel better. For him to say that, he meant it.
"Thank
you. That means a lot to me."
Will
smirked. "So suck it up now and come back downstairs. And if you
need some alone time, you take it. Ain't a man alive ain't had to do
that from time to time."
The
men went back to the apartment, said good night and went back to
their room. Will's bedding was askew. Lucius' bed was neatly made.
"Put
some fresh sheets on," his brother admitted shyly.
"Did
you—" He made telling hand gestures. "On my bed?"
"No,
no I swear! We pulled 'em together, but tussled on mine. Just thought
since we messed it up some...."
"Hope
to hell you're telling me the truth." Shaking his head, Luke
undressed and slid into bed.
"We
totally fucked on your bed," Will said as he lay down.
Luke
raised up and hit him with his pillow, hard and repeatedly. Laughing,
Will protected himself.
"I'm
kidding! We didn't." He lay down when Luke stopped hitting him.
"But I wanted to."
"I'll
do you an injury and make you unable to father children," Luke
grumbled as he rolled over.
He
liked to hope Will was kidding about making love on his bed, but if
it had been him, if one bed had been handier, he'd have used it. His
was closer to the door and he knew instinctively his brother was
lying. He rolled over and hit his brother with the pillow again. Will
woofed air, laughing.
©
2019 Dellani Oakes
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