I Love Dialogue! Excerpt from The Best Medicine #2

Tanya and Morgan have been together for a couple months when his friend, Hal turns up. It's Morgan's birthday, but he forgot to mention it to Tanya. The three of them get to talking about a palimony case brought against Morgan by his ex-girlfriend, Vanessa - a money grubbing witch of a woman with bad hair and a worse temper. Hal compliments Tanya's house, bemoaning the fact that his house is farther from work than hers.

"Hal loves shortcuts," Morgan explained. "He spends hours looking for them and plotting them out. No matter how long it takes him, he figures out back roads and shortcuts everywhere he goes. Ask him directions to anywhere in the city, he can tell you and give you an estimate of how long it will take to get you there."

"Morgan's jealous," Hal confided to Tanya. "He's really directionally impaired. He won't admit it, of course."

"Oh, of course not," Tanya giggled. "He finds his way to the most important places, don't you baby?"

"Yeah," Morgan grinned, putting his arm around her. "I can find my way to the bedroom with absolutely no wrong turns." He kissed her tenderly, his eyes glowing with happiness.

"Oh, hey," Hal changed the subject suddenly. "Before I forget, Caden said to tell you something."

"Yeah? What's that lawyer sell-out got to say for himself?"

"Cut the guy some slack, Morph," Hal's eyes looked slightly pained. "He found something that will help your lawsuit."

"How'd you find out about that? I don't remember telling you."

"Because my mom is friends with your step-mom. Mom and Julie talk all the time, so word got out. Were you planning to tell me?"

"Like I said, you've been out of town quite awhile. It slipped my mind. Not like I could call you in Rwanda or wherever the hell you were."

"Uruguay."

"Whatever."

"I was doing volunteer work," Hal explained. "I do a few months a year. I keep trying to get Morgan to come, but he hates to fly."

"And I refuse to drive to Uruguay, so I don't go."

"You could go on one of the ships," Tanya said. "I hear those are interesting."

"Not interesting enough. Come with me, then I'll think about it. I refuse to travel for months on end patching up people in a third world country and being celibate at the same time."

"I'll think about it," she replied with a grin.

"I don't know how you stand it," Morgan said to Hal. "The whole depriving yourself of female companionship for three months. I'd die."

"Who said I was deprived?" Hal's eyes twinkled, flecks of gold sparkling with humor.

"Toothless, mountain, hags don't count," Morgan corrected him.

"Actually, she was one of the other doctors and very pretty. Her name was Celestina and she was from Brazil."

"You still seeing her?"

"No, she went back to Brazil."

Morgan nodded. "So, in effect, you're celibate again."

"Why do you care?" Hal sounded slightly irritated with the entire conversation.

Morgan smirked, chuckling while he fixed his coffee. "I care because now I can tease you unmercifully about being a priest and stand there smiling with ill concealed glee while you complain about not being laid."

"I guess I'll have to find myself a woman then. Got any suggestions?"

"Tanya's friend, Davida, is available."

"Really. You think I'd do well with her?" He smirked and flexed.

"I think she'd eat you alive after you mated," was Morgan's snappy reply.

"Because I love you, I won't tell her you said that," Tanya giggled.

"I don't think she likes me anyway," Hal shrugged. "We've gotten off on the wrong foot. At least that's all I can figure out. We don't see eye to eye on much of anything."

"That's because she's seven foot two and you're only six two," Morgan said. "So what was it your lawyer brother had to tell me? We got off that subject at Rwanda."

"Uruguay. Okay, basically he said to tell you to call him. You two may not get along, but he's one of the best damn lawyers in the city and you know it. If he's willing to set aside your differences, why can't you?"

"Because I didn't hit me in the face, dislocate my jaw and piss me off for no reason," Morgan said in a matter-of-fact tone."I happen to be fond of myself."

"He thought you told me about. . . ."

"I know why he did it. Anyway, so I should call him. Why can't you just tell me what's what and leave it at that?"

"Because I'm not a fucking lawyer and I'm not your bitch, is why," Hal exploded. "One day you two will start to listen to me."

"Either that or we could lock them in a room with a rabid, horny wildebeest and see who makes it out alive," Tanya offered, trying to diffuse the situation.

"I like how this woman thinks, Morph. Can I steal her from you?"

"I don't know. Honey, would you like Hal to steal you from me?"

"That depends," Tanya brushed Morgan's hair out of his face.

"On what?" He frowned slightly.

"On if he can do in bed the things you do. If so, it would be very stiff competition."

Morgan looked thoughtful. "That I don't know. I've never examined Hal's bedside manner."

"Well, since I like yours, I guess I'll stick with you."

They kissed for several seconds before Hal quit laughing and got annoyed instead. "Other person in the room," he said loudly.

"This is why you date girls from Botswana," Morgan said as he nibbled Tanya's earlobe.

"Brazil. It wasn't a serious relationship. Great sex, no commitment."

"I like commitment," Morgan continued to nibble.

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I Love Dialogue! Excerpt from The Best Medicine

Anyone who's read my work knows I like good dialogue. I love capturing the feel of each character and I use their conversations as a characterization instrument. The funnier, the better. In this excerpt, Tanya is having breakfast with her new boyfriend, Morgan, his sister, Molly, her husband, Kenny and their son, Duke. Their family dynamic is quite different from what she's used to, but she finds that she likes it and feels right at home.

"Where are the other boys?" Tanya asked.

"They're on tour," Molly said proudly. "They left last night. They'll be gone about six weeks. All that driving, Cullen's going to be wild before it's over. He hates being in a vehicle for any period of time."

"They'll just have to sing to him like we did. Do you remember? Any time we got in the car, he'd scream. The only thing that kept him happy was She'll be Coming Round the Mountain! We even made up our own verses because we got sick of singing the same thing over and over. Dad's were the best," Morgan remembered fondly.

"I liked yours," Molly told Morgan. "Of course the best ones we couldn't sing around Dad. Morgan's a creative lyricist," Molly told them with a sly grin. "Though I don't think that some of those things she was doing round the mountain were physically possible."

Morgan threw his head back, laughing heartily. "Oh, God! I was just thinking of that one, you know?"

He made some vague gestures. He and Molly laughed heartily. No one else knew what they were talking about. The confused looks set Morgan and Molly laughing even harder.

"They're crazy, you know this right?" Kenny looked at Tanya, his tone and expression flat. "Completely bonkers, the entire family."

Tanya looked at Morgan and Molly, their eyes watering as they giggled. "I'm beginning to figure that out. But it works for me." She winked at Kenny who grinned back at her. "I just wish I understood, I'd like a good laugh too."

Kenny shook his head, leaning back in his chair. "Trust me, no you wouldn't. I've heard this story. It's one of those where you had to have been there for it to be funny at all. I didn't even crack a glimmer of a grin when they told me."

Morgan and Molly finally stopped laughing long enough to gather up the plates and put them in the dishwasher. As they cleaned up, Kenny and Tanya sat at the table sipping coffee and chatting.

"So, what are the plans for the day?" Kenny asked her.

"I'm working this afternoon," Tanya said. "But before I do that, I'd better go to the grocery store. In fact, we both should. Morgan hasn't a thing in his house to eat and I'm out of just about everything."

"Oh, what excitement," Molly said dryly. "And here I thought you had something fun planned, like rock climbing or hang gliding."

"No, that's next week," Morgan said, keeping his face completely straight. "I thought we'd try joining the Mile High Club tomorrow, that is if I can borrow the family jet."

Tanya glanced around the room trying to figure out if Morgan was teasing. No one smiled. They all looked as if his remark was completely normal. Just as she was about to ask, Duke's ears went red and he burst out laughing. It was an explosive sound and made her jump. He giggled until tears came to his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he told Morgan. "I just couldn't hold it any more. Tanya, the look on your face was priceless! Good one, Uncle Morph."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Duke. I'm completely serious." He took a sip of his coffee and tipped casually back in his chair.

"But—I—Whatever!" Making rude finger gestures at his uncle, he walked from the room muttering to himself.

Morgan's lip twitched and then a smile spread across his face. "No, I'm kidding about the mile high thing, Tanya. But the family does have a plane. It belongs to Uncle Scott."

"No, Uncle Stan," Molly corrected.

"I'm always mixing them up," Morgan told her. "I hope I know them by sight and haven't had them mixed up in my head for the last thirty years. I think they played a prank on me as a child and pretended to be one another to confuse me."

"It wouldn't surprise me," Molly told him. "They are a little eccentric and have a very bizarre sense of humor."

"Which is the one with gold teeth? Stan?"

"No."

"Oh. Well then I don't know which is which. My entire life has been an illusion. I'm going to require years of therapy to make me myself again."

"I can help with that," Tanya told him with a perfectly straight face. "I am a professional. I even did a short stint on a psychiatry ward. Would you say you suffer from delusions?"

"Constantly," Morgan said with a huge, dramatic sigh. "Or are they illusions? What's the one when you see things?"

"Hallucinations. . . or is it halitosis? I get those two mixed up."

Kenny was looking from Morgan to Tanya and back again. "She's as loony as he is. No wonder they get along so well. What a relief! I thought we had a normal one in the family and I was going to worry about her continued mental health!"

Molly grinned, watching Morgan and Tanya be silly. "I think it's wonderful! I'm so glad you fainted into my brother's arms, Tanya!"

"Well, specifically she fainted and I caught her in my arms, but it's just semantics. I'm glad too."

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