Drum Roll Please!

Every once in awhile, a book comes along that I, as the author, feel differently about. Some make me question my chosen vocation, but a few touch my heart in a special way.

So Much It Hurts is one of the latter. I love this book. When I started it November 1, 2016, the words just flowed. I felt the movement of it, the emotions and the words gripped me and ran. I hung on, typing as fast as I could, feeling inadequate to the task of telling the story. When I sat down to read it through in its entirety, I knew I hadn't let myself, or the characters down. It was that good.

Beta readers have told me that the characters hopped off the page, becoming very real. I was delighted to hear that, because the entire time, the voices filled my head, demanding to be heard.

Tomorrow, So Much It Hurts makes its debut. I'm delighted that it's being published exactly a year from its beginning. The book is on sale right now, and will continue for a week after publication, so get your copy for .99 cents NOW! The price won't last, but the book will. I hope it will touch your lives as much as it did mine.

Below, for your reading enjoyment, is an excerpt from So Much It Hurts by Dellani Oakes.

They heard the music before they saw anyone. The air was filled with guitar,

piano, trumpet…

“Is that a harpsichord?”

“It is! And there’s a harp, double bass, a variety of woodwind and other

instruments. Only the finest quality. We’re allowed to use them—carefully.”

“Aren’t they worried someone will steal them?”

“No one will steal them. They appreciate the opportunity too much.”

The choice of music was a little surprising, given the instruments playing, but Pia

couldn’t ignore the lure of Harlem Nocturne. A longtime favorite, it was one of the

first pieces she’d learned on her own. Though she loved all kinds of music, there was

a big pull for her in jazz and blues. They walked quietly in and she marveled at the

sight. Seven musicians sat around playing various antique instruments, including a

gorgeous saxophone that glittered like silver, not brass. The sound was mellower,

making her gasp and clasp her hands together. Listening in awe, she could hardly

breathe until they were finished. When the song ended, she clapped and cheered.

Yancy whistled and clapped along with her.

“Fabulous! I love the slower tempo. And the saxophone, so sexy! The piano part

on the harpsichord, very cool!”

“You’ve got to be a musician,” the girl at the harpsichord said with a grin.

“This is Pia, new to the Ambassador Suite. Pia, meet Charles.”

The guy on the double bass waved.

“Elaine on harpsichord. Bama on sax; Amita you know, on guitar. Trumpet and

trombone, the Capone Twins. And finally, Dahlia on drums.”

“What do you play?” Elaine made room for her on the bench.

“Pretty much everything. Fully trained on woodwinds, piano, guitar, and drums.

I’m self-taught on brass. I need to tighten my embrasure.”

“Hard to switch up between woodwind and brass,” one of the Capones said.

“Yes, so I’m told. I play at it, I didn’t say I did it well.”

“You sing?” Bama asked.

“Well, yeah.”

“Prove it. Soprano or alto?”

“I’ve got a good range. Try me.”

“Hop in when you know it.” He picked up a guitar and started playing. The others

joined in.

Pia grinned. “Give me something hard, why don’t ya?” She waited for the right

moment and started to sing I’d Rather Go Blind.

The other musicians joined in and sang harmony with her on the choruses. Pia

wailed and sailed all over the place, showing off her range. Impressed looks were

exchanged, but she didn’t see them. Instead, she had her eyes closed as she sang.

By the end of it, the women were in tears and even the men looked a little misty. No

one moved for a full minute as the song finished. Pia looked around, confused.

“Nailed it,” Bama said. “Dayam, baby. You’ve got some pipes!”

Everyone joined in to compliment her. She hadn’t noticed, but many of the other

residents, attracted by the song, had gathered for the impromptu concert. After

Bama spoke, the spell was broken and they applauded loudly.

“Thank you.” Pia blushed, embarrassed by their praise.

“Can’t leave us there!” Elaine said, booting Bama from the piano. She whispered

to him and he grinned. “See if you know this one.”

“We’re playing Name That Tune, huh? I think it’s only fair to warn you, I’ve never

been stumped. Has to be something known, can’t be something you wrote yourself.”

“Of course! That’d be cheating,” Amita said.

Elaine started playing the piano, with the guitar on heavy reverb joining her. Pia

smiled, standing.

“Oh, I got this.” Waiting patiently for her cue, she stood with her hand on the side

of the piano like a torch singer. The haunting notes of Bang Bang filled the air, and

the audience clapped softly.

Wondering where Pia and Yancy were, Flynn came back downstairs and walked

in as she got to the final chorus. When she saw him, Pia pointed at him, singing

“Bang Bang.” He staggered, catching himself before he fell. More loud applause

echoed in the enormous room.

Stepping forward, clapping, Flynn stood in front of her. “I have a request.”

“Okay, name it. If we know it, we’ll play it,” Elaine said, her fingers rippling over

the keys.

“Except for Pia.” He winked at her.

“Hah! Rude!” She smacked his arm with the back of her hand.

Flynn whispered to the musicians and they nodded.

Elaine started to play the piano. “A little throwback to before we were born… By

request.”

Bama had picked up a violin and Charles went back to the bass. Pia smiled,

though she was fighting tears. How had he picked the one song that could make her

melt into a puddle? Vocalizing as she waited for her cue, she closed her eyes again.

To Flynn’s ears, Misty Blue by Dorothy Moore had never sounded so good. The

song held special meaning for him, that only Yancy knew. The second he had heard

Pia sing, he knew he had to listen to her do that song. He hadn’t counted on how it

would affect him. Tears welled in his eyes and he ducked his head so no one would

see. He felt Yancy walk over, nudging him with his elbow. Hands shoved in his

pockets, he started to hum and by the final chorus, he was harmonizing with Pia.

When the song was over, he picked her up, spinning her around. Lost in a moment

of their own, they didn’t even notice the applause.

“Where were you keeping that voice, Chancellor?”

“Under my hat, ma’am.”

“You’re not wearing a hat.”

“Nope. That was beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re so welcome.”

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

To Buy So Much It Hurts

On Mother's Day

My mother, me, my daughter & granddaughter 2013

I found out today that an old friend of mine died yesterday. She was a year or so younger than me, and now she's gone. Right before Mother's Day, her daughter loses her mama. I should be crying, but aside from my initial shock, I'm not. Maybe I should, but I simply feel numb.

I think of that poor girl spending the rest of her life without her mother, and it saddens me. She and my youngest son grew up together. I've known her mother since they were in kindergarten – fifteen years. I haven't seen her in quite awhile. She had some physical challenges and didn't get out much. She had dogs and cats, so I didn't drop by. Now, she's gone.

This makes me think of how many loved ones have died since January of 2015. We lost my mother-in-law and father-in-law last year. Shortly after my mother-in-law died, I lost another friend of mine, a woman who was also a year or so younger than I. Her son is a year or so older than mine.

Starting in January, I've lost a friend nearly every month. Death of the Month Club is not one I wish to be a part of. It's one thing when the person is in their seventies or eighties, it's quite another when the person is in her mid-fifties.

For these families, and many more, Mother's Day won't be a celebration, but a day spent missing the person they love. There won't be laughter and presents, but a gaping hole in their hearts, which they will try to fill with memories instead.

I feel that way every Father's Day. Everyone so joyful, loving their dads, telling how Daddy is my best friend.... I lost my father over 30 years ago. He never got to see my kids grow up, never met the two younger ones, and they missed out on something special. He wasn't the most openly loving man around, but I knew he loved me. He was funny, snide, brilliant and critical of stupidity. I learned to appreciate the written word because of him, and I still hear his rumbling voice in my head when I edit, especially if I am considering whether or not to cut a page, paragraph or scene. “If you think it needs to go, cut the damn thing!” And he's always right.

I guess the point I'm making is that those we love have moved on, but are still with us in some form or fashion. As long as we have memories of them, however ephemeral or fleeting, they stay in our hearts and minds giving us a smile, a tear or a good laugh.

My heart goes out to these friends and family members who have lost their mothers. You are in my heart and in my prayers today. I feel your loss and I wish there were some magic pill which would bring them back.

I Love Dialogue! Excerpt from The Best Medicine

Anyone who's read my work knows I like good dialogue. I love capturing the feel of each character and I use their conversations as a characterization instrument. The funnier, the better. In this excerpt, Tanya is having breakfast with her new boyfriend, Morgan, his sister, Molly, her husband, Kenny and their son, Duke. Their family dynamic is quite different from what she's used to, but she finds that she likes it and feels right at home.

"Where are the other boys?" Tanya asked.

"They're on tour," Molly said proudly. "They left last night. They'll be gone about six weeks. All that driving, Cullen's going to be wild before it's over. He hates being in a vehicle for any period of time."

"They'll just have to sing to him like we did. Do you remember? Any time we got in the car, he'd scream. The only thing that kept him happy was She'll be Coming Round the Mountain! We even made up our own verses because we got sick of singing the same thing over and over. Dad's were the best," Morgan remembered fondly.

"I liked yours," Molly told Morgan. "Of course the best ones we couldn't sing around Dad. Morgan's a creative lyricist," Molly told them with a sly grin. "Though I don't think that some of those things she was doing round the mountain were physically possible."

Morgan threw his head back, laughing heartily. "Oh, God! I was just thinking of that one, you know?"

He made some vague gestures. He and Molly laughed heartily. No one else knew what they were talking about. The confused looks set Morgan and Molly laughing even harder.

"They're crazy, you know this right?" Kenny looked at Tanya, his tone and expression flat. "Completely bonkers, the entire family."

Tanya looked at Morgan and Molly, their eyes watering as they giggled. "I'm beginning to figure that out. But it works for me." She winked at Kenny who grinned back at her. "I just wish I understood, I'd like a good laugh too."

Kenny shook his head, leaning back in his chair. "Trust me, no you wouldn't. I've heard this story. It's one of those where you had to have been there for it to be funny at all. I didn't even crack a glimmer of a grin when they told me."

Morgan and Molly finally stopped laughing long enough to gather up the plates and put them in the dishwasher. As they cleaned up, Kenny and Tanya sat at the table sipping coffee and chatting.

"So, what are the plans for the day?" Kenny asked her.

"I'm working this afternoon," Tanya said. "But before I do that, I'd better go to the grocery store. In fact, we both should. Morgan hasn't a thing in his house to eat and I'm out of just about everything."

"Oh, what excitement," Molly said dryly. "And here I thought you had something fun planned, like rock climbing or hang gliding."

"No, that's next week," Morgan said, keeping his face completely straight. "I thought we'd try joining the Mile High Club tomorrow, that is if I can borrow the family jet."

Tanya glanced around the room trying to figure out if Morgan was teasing. No one smiled. They all looked as if his remark was completely normal. Just as she was about to ask, Duke's ears went red and he burst out laughing. It was an explosive sound and made her jump. He giggled until tears came to his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he told Morgan. "I just couldn't hold it any more. Tanya, the look on your face was priceless! Good one, Uncle Morph."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Duke. I'm completely serious." He took a sip of his coffee and tipped casually back in his chair.

"But—I—Whatever!" Making rude finger gestures at his uncle, he walked from the room muttering to himself.

Morgan's lip twitched and then a smile spread across his face. "No, I'm kidding about the mile high thing, Tanya. But the family does have a plane. It belongs to Uncle Scott."

"No, Uncle Stan," Molly corrected.

"I'm always mixing them up," Morgan told her. "I hope I know them by sight and haven't had them mixed up in my head for the last thirty years. I think they played a prank on me as a child and pretended to be one another to confuse me."

"It wouldn't surprise me," Molly told him. "They are a little eccentric and have a very bizarre sense of humor."

"Which is the one with gold teeth? Stan?"

"No."

"Oh. Well then I don't know which is which. My entire life has been an illusion. I'm going to require years of therapy to make me myself again."

"I can help with that," Tanya told him with a perfectly straight face. "I am a professional. I even did a short stint on a psychiatry ward. Would you say you suffer from delusions?"

"Constantly," Morgan said with a huge, dramatic sigh. "Or are they illusions? What's the one when you see things?"

"Hallucinations. . . or is it halitosis? I get those two mixed up."

Kenny was looking from Morgan to Tanya and back again. "She's as loony as he is. No wonder they get along so well. What a relief! I thought we had a normal one in the family and I was going to worry about her continued mental health!"

Molly grinned, watching Morgan and Tanya be silly. "I think it's wonderful! I'm so glad you fainted into my brother's arms, Tanya!"

"Well, specifically she fainted and I caught her in my arms, but it's just semantics. I'm glad too."

To Buy Dellani's Books