"Worse than finding out Emma was pregnant?"
Sam glanced at the files on her desk, understanding how she knew that.
"That wasn't so bad. Going with her when she had her abortions, that was horrible. Her folks wouldn't go. If anyone saw them there, it would be a scandal. They sent her out of town just to be sure she wouldn't be recognized. The first time, I broke her dad's nose when we got back."
"Why?"
"He made a comment about her being a slut and a whore. I took it personally. She's neither one. I made it clear I wouldn't tolerate it."
"Was that the first time he had you arrested?"
"Nope. About the third, I think. I lost track."
"Did he know you two were having sexual relations?"
"Probably. Who knows with him?"
"It sounds like he resented you. Not like a father, but as a rival. Had you ever considered that?"
"Yeah, but does it make a difference? The man's a jackass who needs to be taken down. I'm the man to do it. One day I will."
"You have to let go of the resentment, Sam. You can't save the world single handed."
"Maybe not, but I can sure as hell save Emma. This place is step one."
"What's step two?"
"Never going back. Moving away where they won't think to look for us."
"So is that the game plan? Moving far away?"
"Yes."
"Does Emma agree?"
"Yes."
She looked surprised. "She doesn't want to go back home?"
"To what? A drunken iceberg of a mother and a father who abuses her? Would you?"
"Can they stop her?"
"She's eighteen. They can't do shit."
"You've thought this all out fairly thoroughly."
"I spend a lot of nights staring at the ceiling. It gave me something to think about, especially all the nights Emma spent in the hospital with me on vigil. I've been planning this for the last six months."
"I think you're doing the right thing, Sam. My one stipulation in all this will be that you find a program and a support group wherever you go."
"I already thought about that, Doc. We need something to keep us going. It's too damn easy to slip back into the life. I want what's best for Emma."
"What if the best thing for Emma was giving her up? Could you still do that?"
Sam stared at the diplomas on the wall, his gaze traveling from one to the other without speaking. He sat silently so long, the doctor thought he wouldn't answer. His body slumped forward so his arms rested on his thighs.
"Obviously, I hope that's not the case." He cleared his throat, shifting uneasily in the chair, fighting tears. "I hope—I hope I'd do the right thing for Emma. If being away from her made her healthy, then I would try like hell to leave. But I don't think deserting her isn't the solution. If I left her, I think it would kill her."
"What would it do to you?" she asked gently.
He cleared his throat, blinking rapidly. She could see the vein in the side of his neck throb. He shifted nervously, adjusting his clothing, his eyes focusing on a spot in the corner opposite her head.
"You don't like thinking about that, do you, Sam?"
His eyes met hers with a penetrating force.
"Emma's been the center of my life forever. If I lost her, I'd die. I don't mean I'd kill myself, I mean I'd shrivel up and die." He paused a moment, considering before he went on. "Do you believe in soul mates, Doctor?"
©2020 Dellani Oakes
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