Emma talks with Robbie and Dr. Stewart about her father. She's worried that she'll abuse her own children.
"No, it doesn't. You're getting help. He probably never did."
"I want to get better, Dr. Stewart. Can you make me better?"
"You'll make yourself better, Emma. I'll help you find your way and I'll catch you if you fall."
"Sam does that," Emma said confidently. "Sam's always done that. No matter how low I go, he's always there to keep me from hitting the bottom. One day, I want to be the one to pick him up."
"You know what, Emma? I believe that one day you'll be able to do just that."
"I've never been in therapy before," she said quietly. "My parents wouldn't let me. They were afraid I would tell their dirty, little secret. Sam's had a bunch, anger management and stuff in juvie. But not me. I don't know what to do, how to act."
"Just be you, Emma. Robbie and I like you for who you are, not for an act. The only expectation I have is that you'll talk to me, and we can work through your problems. We want you to get better. That's our goal as much as it is yours."
"What did you and Sam talk about besides me?"
"I can't tell you everything, but we talked about soul mates."
"You believe in that?"
"Do you?"
"Sam does and he's told me a lot about it. I don't know what to believe. I don't really believe anything. Did Sam tell you my dad is a minister?"
"No." Dr. Stewart gulped. So much for pulling God into the therapy. She was pretty sure Emma would reject it.
"I have a question, Doctor. I've asked this a million times, and I never get an answer. Maybe you can help me."
"I'll try, Emma."
"If God exists, why did he let my dad do that to me?"
Both older women felt tears gather in their eyes. Neither of them had a good answer. Saying a silent prayer, Dr. Stewart licked her lips before replying.
"I'm not sure, Emma. Maybe we can discover that together, while you're here."
Emma shrugged. "I think it would really help me a lot knowing that."
The women didn't have a good answer for her, but Dr. Stewart was determined to find one if she could. Why indeed? She wondered. When there was so much else that was good and wholesome that happened to people, why did God allow something so insidious? Or maybe allowed wasn't the right word. Why didn't He prevent it? Was evil so strong in the world that He couldn't? She didn't believe that for a moment. She could tell that this young woman was going to tax her abilities, and possibly her faith. She prayed she would be able to help Emma find peace.
Sam and Emma settled into a comfortable routine, working around the house with the others, going to their therapy sessions singly and together. Their group sessions were harder on Emma, but she soon warmed to them, realizing that no one expected anything from her, except healing. She was laughing, happy, healthy looking. Her color had improved, the dark circles around her eyes were fading to nothing. She wasn't haunted by memories of her abuse as she had been, though Sam knew she still woke sometimes from nightmares. He wasn't allowed to comfort her. Her weekly buddy, was the only one besides Molly and Raleigh who had permission to go into her room at night.
He saw her growing and blossoming into the person he knew she could be. It pleased and worried him simultaneously. When he saw her laughing and flirting with Glenn one day, he walked off to his therapy session in a bad mood. Sitting in Dr. Stewart's office, he said nothing for a full five minutes. She wanted him to break the silence, but when it became obvious he wasn't going to, she cleared her throat. Sam didn't even look at her.
"I know something's troubling you. You should talk about it."
"She doesn't need me anymore. She's got everyone else, and she doesn't need me. Not at all."
"Sure she does. Just because she isn't counting only on you doesn't mean she doesn't need your strength. She needs your love and support even more right now. She's at a very critical stage."
©2020 Dellani Oakes
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