Their couple session over, Sam gives Emma a kiss before going to join Raleigh.
He rested his forehead against hers, rubbing her upper arms gently. "See you later, kiddo. I'd better go find Raleigh before he thinks of a million other things for me to do." He gave her another quick kiss and left without a backward glance.
Emma watched him leave, a sad smile on her face. "He's upset about something, isn't he?"
Dr. Stewart said nothing, waiting.
"I can always tell. He only kisses me like that when he's worried."
"Maybe he's worried about working with Raleigh?"
"No. Don't be silly. You know, but you can't tell me."
Again, the doctor remained enigmatic.
"It was a year ago today. He's still feeling guilty about the baby, isn't he?"
"Why don't you tell me about it?"
"He thinks it was his baby, the second one."
"Do you?"
Emma nodded, tears dropping on her folded hands. "It really couldn't have been anyone else. I'm regular as clockwork, and it had been nearly three weeks since my period. My folks were out of town over a month, Sam kept me away from the parties. It was just us—and we weren't careful. I'm on the pill ...."
"But that's not infallible."
"Exactly. And when we were drinking and high like that, I probably missed some. I wanted that baby, Dr. Stevens. I know at first I totally freaked, but that was because I was afraid to tell my parents. I knew my dad would go totally postal, and I was afraid of what Sam would do to him when he did."
"You didn't think your father could hurt Sam?"
"That sorry pussy hurt Sam? You've never seen him fight. He kicks serious ass, Dr. Stewart. He's been in martial arts for years, through a program for troubled kids—the Police Athletic League sponsored it. He could have killed my dad, and then I'd lose him. So it was better not to have the baby, don't you think?"
"Have you ever shared any of this with Sam?"
"You think I should?"
"I think you need to clear the air between you.
"Maybe.... I'd feel better talking about it with you, first."
"As you wish, Emma. You do need to talk to each other about it."
Emma nodded, sniffling. She drew her feet into her chair again, closing off as she often did when thinking about something particularly painful.
"I've put him through so much hell. How can he stay with me? I'm so afraid one day that he's going to realize what a waste of life I am, and leave me."
"You're not a waste of life, Emma. We've talked about this before."
"I know! I know. But sometimes, in my dark moments, at night, I feel so useless. What have I done to deserve Sam? He's so wonderful, and all I ever do is drag him down with me."
"You love him," Dr. Stewart told her gently. "For a man like Sam, that's enough."
"Do you think we're too young to get married?"
"I think only the two of you really know the answer to that."
"He's asked me to marry him. I told him we were too young, but now I wonder. Are you married, Doc?"
"Twice. The first one ended—badly."
"What happened? That's if you don't mind me asking?"
"We were like gasoline and Styrofoam together. You know what that makes, right?"
"Napalm." Emma giggled. "My friends and I made some once, and took it to the beach late at night. We had to outrun the cops that time."
"Why didn't Sam stop you?"
"He was in juvie for jumping some guys who were picking on me at school. They'd been all over me at a party, and were bragging about it in school. Sam put two of them in the hospital. He was only fifteen."
©2020 Dellani Oakes
No comments:
Post a Comment