So
Much It Hurts, my 2016 NaNo novel took me very much by surprise.
For starters, I had little to no idea what I was going to write
about. Usually, I plan ahead to a degree, but this year, I was
stumped. I had an inkling of a love triangle (no, not menage) and
even knew the three characters by name—something else that rarely
happens.
Immediately,
Pia met and was enamored with Flynn, but there was something about
Yancy I hadn't anticipated—at all. I love how the book turned out,
and eventually I may share it or I'll wait and publish it. I haven't
decided. In any case, this is an excerpt from So Much It Hurts.
Flynn pulled himself to consciousness. His ears buzzed and rang. The
room refused to hold still. Vision blurred, he stumbled to the
bathroom. As he washed his hands and face, he examined himself in the
mirror. His skin was drawn, scruffy cheeks sunken, dark circles
around haunted eyes. Turning around, he saw claw marks on his
shoulders and he had a vague recollection of having hot, jungle sex
with someone, and knew it hadn't been Pia. Naked and ashamed, he
stood with his face in his hands.
“What
have I done?”
His
bathroom door popped open and Yancy's angry face was framed by it and
the door jamb. “Put on some pants. You have a visitor.”
“Pia?”
The
door slammed shut as Yancy left without a reply? Flynn dressed
hastily, wondering if he'd missed an appointment. He couldn't think
of anything, but three days were a blur. Men's voices filtered from
the living room, calm, reassuring. Didn't sound like he was in
trouble. As the child of an abusive parent, he'd learned to read the
danger signals. When laughter echoed knew it was all right.
The
other man's back was to him, but Flynn would know Jeff Stanton
anywhere. Yancy glanced over, raising his chin, and Jeff turned. His
smile of greeting changed to a frown of deep concern.
“Jesus,
Flynn! You look like you've been hit by a truck!” He tried to look
more closely, but Flynn flinched away.
“Coffee?”
“No
thanks.”
“I
need coffee.”
“Boy,
you need rehab. Coffee won't cut it.”
“Why
are you here?”
“Lunch
with me and Randi, remember?” He turned to Yancy. “How long has
he been like this?”
“I
spent the night with Pia. Someone had a party that didn't include me.
Not that I wanted a bunch of super models sucking me off on the
couch.”
“I
did that?” Flynn cringed. “Fuck, I did that. I'm sorry—”
He
took a step toward Yancy, who backed away, hands up to ward off his
approach.
“Save
your apologies for Pia. I came for my stuff.”
“What
stuff?” Flynn had made it to the kitchen, but went back as quickly
as he could.
“All
of it. I can't live like this. Pia said I could move in with her.”
“With
my girlfriend?” He stormed across the room, shoving Yancy back a
step.
“Not
anymore!” his friend bellowed. “You blew that chance when you
blew that model!”
“She
saw that?” Anguished, Flynn gripped his head, anger now
self-directed. “What have I done?”
“Not
what, who? Everyone! You'd have fucked a monkey, if one had been
around.”
Jeff
got between them, a hand on each chest. “Yance, lemme get this
one.” He tipped his head toward the door.
Reluctantly
agreeing, Yancy went back to Pia's. She was waiting in the hallway
outside her door, Randi in the room behind her. Both women looked
worried. Borage came around the corner, Oz trailing him.
“Go
back home,” Borage pointed, gently commanding. “It's okay.”
“No.”
Knowing
he couldn't get his charge to leave, he simply kept him out of the
way. Jeff closed the door with a thud before advancing on Flynn.
“You,
fuck-tard. Sit.”
“Coffee.”
“Screw
coffee. This is your Come to Jesus. You feel me?” His tone and
manner grew tough, aggressive.
Flynn's
laugh whooped o ut. “This is great. The rich, pampered, pretty
boy—going all street. You don't scare me, Jeff. I grew up in the
hood. I ate hood rats for lunch.”
“Hood
rats don't hold two black belts. You're tough, and hung over. Think I
can't take your ass down?” He yanked off his jacket. “They've got
a gym here. Let's throw down!” The jacket hit Flynn in the face.
“Let's
do it!” Furious, Flynn raced to the stairway, shoving past Yancy
and Borage. The door to Pia's rom was open and she watched from the
safety of the doorway.
“I've
got this,” Jeff said as he stalked past. “My friend needs a
whoopin'.”
“Don't
hurt him!”
Icy
blue eyes met hers. “Some men see reason at the bottom of a bottle.
Some see it after talk. Flynn sees it with a fist to the face.” He
was gone in a flash.
“You
can't let him!” Pia appealed to Yancy and Borage.
Yancy
picked her up and carried her inside, locking the door behind him.
“This is the only way.”
Randi
stood by the couch. “Jeff won't hurt him—much,” she faltered.
She knew the strength her husband possessed, and she knew Flynn's
stubbornness. It might take a lot to get through to him. “He knows
what he's doing.”
“He's
going to beat up Flynn! That's okay with you?” She shoved at Yancy,
who didn't loosen his grip. “I have to go.”
Yancy
held her, despite the fact she was fighting him. “No.”
“Yancy!”
“You
want to see his humiliation?”
“Stop
this!”
“You
saw him last night.... Do you still think I should?”
Bursting
into tears, the fight went out of her. She hung limply from his arms.
Yancy lifted her, carrying her to the chaise lounge nearby. Randi sat
next to her, and the three of them shared their silent misery.
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