Writing Good Dialog

Regardless of the genre, there comes a time when characters have to talk. For some authors this is a challenge. How do you make the characters sound different? Where do you put the actions? Does it sound real? What would this character say? How would the other respond?

Dialog is important to a story. Making it sound realistic isn’t easy. One thing I do that helps me is trying to think like the characters. There is an easy exercise for this which I’ll go into at the end of this article.

Next, keep it simple. Don’t try to go all Shakespeare and make flowery speeches or say something relevant – unless that’s what the character is trying to do. Here again, character centered.

Make sure the dialog advances the story. Don’t just throw in some witty repartee for the sake of having them say something cute or funny. That’s for cheesy action flicks. If the characters would use this time for that, fine. Otherwise, leave it out.

Keep the passages short. Again, we aren’t doing Shakespearean soliloquies. There are other ways to express a character’s thoughts. Use his actions or her facial expressions to express what they are thinking. A well placed raised eyebrow can be quite eloquent.

Many writers have trouble with simultaneous action and dialog. Juggling this can get tricky. Rule of thumb, at least as far as I’m concerned, is keep relevant segments together. Don’t split the sentence unless it’s absolutely unavoidable. Put actions before or after the dialog, but keep these passages short. Longer, more detailed action needs to be in its own paragraph. When the characters are talking, that’s the focus. They wouldn’t be talking if they didn’t have something important to say. Let the dialog stand out on the page, dominating it.

Having a few simple guidelines can take the sting out of dialog. To help get into the character’s head, try asking yourself the following questions:

• What is the character’s age?
• What is the gender? Men & women don’t think alike nor do they speak alike.
• What is his/ her occupation? Is there a level of technical language he/ she would understand or not?
• What is his/ her education level? A person who is widely read has a better vocabulary than someone who never finished school.
• Culture or ethnicity – is it important to his/ her characterization? A foreigner in a strange land will not communicate the same way as a native.
• Does he/ she speak the same language? It’s very important to have this in mind before you start. If a character has minimal French, having him speak fluently in that language wouldn’t ring true.
• Character’s health. A weak man will speak differently from a strong one.
• Urgency of the situation. A character will not stop and give a long speech about how important this mission is if he’s being attacked by rabid wildebeests. Pacing is a must in dialog.
• Relevant to the situation. Would he actually say something that incredibly stupid when in the throes of passion? Would she have enough where with all to bellow that when under attack?

Finally, read the dialog aloud. If it flows with the descriptions, you’ve done it well. If it doesn’t, look at it again and see what can be changed.

The above are my opinions and techniques for writing good dialog. Do you have any tips for others? Do you have trouble with dialog and would like other techniques? I am always interested in learning new ways to conquer a problem. Please post your tips and problems below.

For more of Dellani's books, check out Indian Summer, Lone Wolf and The Ninja Tattoo on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords.

© Dellani Oakes

Spin the Plate - Excerpt from Donna Anastasi's New Book!

Award Winning Author, Donna Anastasi, shares an excerpt from her new book, Spin the Plate

Jo boarded the Green Line subway train D at Newton Highlands, heading into Boston’s Back Bay. With the lunchtime rush, seats were scarce. She spied the last two available and beat a man in a pressed suit by one step, taking them both. He stood, facing her. He grabbed the rail above him, sighed emphatically, and gazed over her head out the window. He let out another heavy sigh, and with a deepening frown, fixed a too-long stare in Jo’s direction, a flicker of irritation in his eyes. He was clearly tired of standing and even more clearly annoyed at having lost his seat to her.

What a prick, she thought.

Without giving him a second thought, Jo shifted her attention to the rattling of metal wheels on metal track and the swaying of the train’s car. A live conductor’s voice and thick Boston accent announcing each upcoming stop had been replaced years before by a primetime anchorman-sounding recording. The recording sounded to Jo like a foreigner who used the proper pronunciation rather than the local dialect. She always thought of the station names the way she’d grown up hearing them. In her head she still imagined the stations being called out with the first syllable shouted and held for three beats and the “Rs” at the end of words replaced by “Ah.” NEWton Centah, RESevwah, CHESTnut Hill…

“Next stop…LONGwood,” boomed over the sound system. Just five more stops to Arlington Station. The train ground to a halt, but no one got off. Half a dozen newcomers entered, the doors closed, and the passengers found their spots as the train lurched forward. With no seats vacated, the man in the suit remained standing and shifted his weight from his right to his left leg.

“Dyke,” he muttered just loud enough for Jo to hear.

In an instant she was up on her feet, transforming herself from some fat lady into a female version of an NFL linebacker: very big, extremely strong, and surprisingly fast. She weighed 257 pounds and stood 5’ 11” in her Chippewa hikers. She wore a flannel shirt—burnt orange with black checks—and denim overalls. In an inner pocket, nestled in the slight dip at her right hip bone and easily accessible from the bib of her overalls, she carried a Beretta 9mm Classic with ten live rounds. The gun was always with her; she reached in and touched it.

Black Jack Bomber by T.C. Miller

I'm delighted to turn over my space to T.C. Miller, author of BlackJack Bomber. Welcome, T.C.!

T. C. Miller’s twenty-four year Air Force career gave him the opportunity to live from coast-to-coast. It was during his assignment at Mather Air Force Base, California that he formulated the basic plot for his debut novel, BlackJack Bomber.

T. C. is also an accomplished martial artist, and has studied Hakkoryu Jujitsu, since 1976. He owned and operated a school in Rancho Cordova, Ca., Harrah, Ok., and McLoud, Ok. He is also the author of self-defense classes for women and children, and has taught handcuffing and apprehension classes for law enforcement.

He started writing as a pre-teen, and has authored magazine articles, lesson plans, and advertising copy. BlackStar Bay, the sequel to BlackJack Bomber, is scheduled for release in mid-2013. Although not a native Oklahoman, he considers it his home state.

BlackJack Bomber A novel by T. C. Miller

Five average, middle-aged suburban guys call themselves the Thursday Night Mafia, and their weekly blackjack game appears to be an innocent pastime. But looks can be deceiving, as casual talk over cards leads to an ill-fated plot to scam Lake Tahoe casinos. Their lives are thrown into a downward spiral faster than you can shuffle the cards. Caught red-handed by mob goons, and facing certain death if they don’t repay a fortune they don’t have, they turn to Rick. He devises a plan to use their inside knowledge of Air Force operations to commandeer a plane with nuclear weapons on board and hold it for ransom.

But the BlackJack Bomber holds Cold War secrets bigger than Rick’s, and the BlackStar Ops Group races against the clock to hunt down Rick. His vengeful plan includes the destruction of Lake Tahoe, and the death of thousands of people, and that’s just for starters. Ultimately, he hopes to auction off nuclear weapons, including the ultra-secret BlackStar system, to the international terrorist community.

There Are Days When I Want to Give Up Writing

There are days when I want to chuck it all in and start over. I find myself wishing I had a different calling and that I wasn't hopelessly addicted to writing. I would like to do something – anything, to make the voices in my head talk to someone else.

But they won't be still and I know I can't give it up for anything. Even if I'm the worst writer in the world, I can't stop. I love what I do. Nothing pleases me like putting words down, creating order from chaos. I just wish I got paid better for doing what I do.

It gets discouraging to put in hour after hour and get pennies in return. If I were better at talking up my own work, I would probably make a lot more money. I am the world's worst at tooting my own horn.

Unfortunately, horns must be tooted loudly to draw attention to our work. If readers don't know that our books exist, they can't very well buy them. There are all kinds of clever marketing ploys – contests, drawings, and giveaways. However, because there is so much competition, everyone tries to "out swag" one another. There are authors giving Kindles, Amazon gift cards and jewelry galore.

Except for some discontinued Mary Kay products and a few copies of my books, I don't have "swag".

Finding creative ways to market isn't easy, but I'm open to suggestions. If you have a marketing method that works for you, post it here. Let's share our ideas and pool our resources. Together, we can make it work.

I am happy to participate in blog exchanges. If you'd like to host me, I will host for you. You can contact me here or through Facebook. ~ Dellani

For more of Dellani's books, check out Indian Summer, Lone Wolf and The Ninja Tattoo on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords.

© Dellani Oakes

What I Don't Like About Romance Novels

       Romance novels are all about falling in love – finding a soul mate and sometimes having great sex. That's what I love about writing romance. I can be, even for a short time, someone else. I am able to fall in love over and over again. That's also why readers love romance novels. For a short space fo time, they have the perfect lover.

What don't I love about romance novels? Formulaic plots, predictable events and the main conflict is between the couple. How is that romantic? I don't want to red page after page of fighting. That isn't what love is about. I've heard other romance authors tell me, "It's what sells." or "It's what readers want."

Is it? I'm a reader as well as a writer and I don't like it. I like an immediate attraction between my lovers. I believe in love at first sight – because it happened to me. I see the romance as the two of them getting to know one another, admitting they are attracted and, eventually, sating their lust in mutually satisfying sex.

Another thing I don't like – arrogant, misogynistic, self-centered heroes who act as if women are there for the taking. Romance novels thrive on this bestial behavior. The love scenes often include the hero – convinced the woman is attracted to him, and can't resist him, forcing his attentions on her. This is, in my opinion, tantamount to rape.

I'm sick of plots where the couple meets, find themselves attracted, may or may not have sex right away, have a falling out and squabble for the rest of the book. A little of that goes a very long way. Yes, couples argue, but they can learn to communicate. Try talking it out – quit throwing lamps at each other. True love isn't like that.

Sadly, these formulaic novels emphasize a lot of the wrong elements of a relationship. Love isn't simply lust. It isn't fighting and yelling and having makeup sex.

True love is liking the faults as well as the strengths of your soul mate. It's talking about what's on your mind – even if ti's simply what to have for dinner. It's patience, compromise, communication. True love is having the best sex ever – simply because it's with the person you love. It's attraction for one person – not many. It's working hard at building a relationship.

Let's talk conflict for a moment. Conflict is what pushes a story forward. It propels the couple toward the conclusion of their story. The best conflicts, I feel, are things the couple must face together and grow stronger as they unite against a common foe.

Good conflict is outside the relationship, not a part of it. If the main action of the story is the couple fighting and staying apart, I stop reading. I think that's why I love to write romantic suspense. I can honestly say that I don't use that type of conflict. I like my couples to ace danger, work as a team and overcome the villain together. I don't want the foe to be one another.

I have to wonder if readers really do want that type of novel or if they simply sell because that's what is available? I promise my readers this – I will not resort to formulaic writing. If that is truly what you want, I'm not your girl. If you want fresh, exciting, fast paced and often lusty stories, then you've come to the right place. I promise, you won't be disappointed.

© Dellani Oakes

Interview with Kameron Brook

I'm delighted that Kam took the time out of her busy schedule to answer my interview questions. Thank you for guest blogging, Kam! Good luck to you and Dirk and your family.

What is your story?

Kam and Dirk collaboration – “Sinfully Delicious” (M/F)

Book Summary:
Christine's been without a man too long, so she lets her BFF Jasmine talk her into speed-dating. Unfortunately, twenty-five of the men are romantic non-starters in the worst way. But all it takes is one...
Who are you?

Kameron’s personal bio: 

Kameron resides in a quiet neighborhood where the typical conversation centers on the weather and swapping recipes. While these chats might be entertaining to her neighbors, she finds her mind wandering quite often to naughtier topics. These hidden fantasies might not be the topic of choice within her circle of friends, but that doesn't stop her from unleashing her hidden desires with her readers.

(co-author’s info) Dirk’s personal bio:

Growing up, Dirk had aspirations of being an architect. He always had a passion to create things and watch them come to life. His path in life might've strayed, but in a way, it didn't. With his writing, he uses the same imagination to bring a story to life. With each stroke of the key, characters blossom and a tale forms. In his mind, buildings come and go, but a story lives forever. And in this, another dream is born, that of an erotica writer.

How do you see yourself?  How do your friends see you?
I hope my friends see me as I see myself: kind, considerate, honest, loyal, and easy going. Rarely am I angry. Life’s too short to dwell on the shit parts.

Do you have a goal?
One day I’d love to have a full-length story – print book.

What makes you happy?
My family makes me happy. Life is too quiet and boring when they aren’t around.

What are you afraid of?
Garden Gnomes. Something about them creeps me out.

What makes you angry?
Dishonest people. Why waste time on lies? What’s the point? Honesty might hurt but in the long run, I’d take it over deception anyday.

What do you regret?
Nothing except, maybe at times, eating too much popcorn on movie night.

What, if anything, haunts you?
The death of my dad when I was a child will always be a tender spot for me. It was unexpected and even decades later, I still tear up when I think of it.

Have you ever failed at anything?

Actually about ten years ago, I wanted to be a children’s book author. I sent in a manuscript to several houses. The book was a collection of poems to help teach toddlers and preschoolers their numbers and colors in a fun, repetitive format. The consensus was “The market at this time has no further need for literature of this nature.” I was disappointed but I continued to use the poems in my classroom so all was not lost.

Are you honorable?
I’d like to think so.

Do you have any distinguishing marks?
I have seven tattoos on my body. Most have a nature theme: butterflies, flowers, birds, and so forth.

What is the most important thing that ever happened to you? Why?

My life wouldn’t be complete without meeting my husband and having two wonderful kids. I can’t pick either event over the other because without one, I wouldn’t have the other.

Thank you to Pat Bertram for her list of character interview questions that she kindly shared with me several years ago.

Thank you so much for extending the interview invitation. I had a marvelous time and I hope others enjoyed reading my responses. 

Sinfully Delicious by Kameron and Dirk

I'm delighted today to have Kameron Brook and Dirk Tyler as guest bloggers. Their book, Sinfully Delicious, truly is!

Book Summary:
Christine's been without a man for far too long, so she lets her BFF Jasmine talk her into speed-dating. Unfortunately, far too many of her dates are romantic non-starters -- in the worst way. But all it takes is one... and when the right man comes along, he's Sinfully Delicious.

Excerpt from Sinfully Delicious:

Wednesday Evening

It’d been two years, six months, and fourteen days since Christine had felt the loving touch of anyone but herself -- not that she was keeping track. Which was the reason she’d allowed her best gal-pal, Jasmine, to talk her into heading out tonight and giving the speed-dating scene a try… again.

“Woo hoo, Christine. Come in. Are you with me?”

Christine studied her completed look in the glass door of the Midnight Rendezvous. She held the phone tucked between her ear and shoulder while she kept tugging at the hem of her dress, which barely covered her ass cheeks. “Jasmine, I can’t believe you talked me into this get-up. I’m literally popping out all over.”

“Babe, you look hot, so quit the bitching and stop tugging on it.”

Christine’s hands stalled and dropped to her sides. “How’d you know what I was doing? Are you lurking nearby?”

Jasmine’s voice rose an octave. “Hello, best friend here. I know you, and I know you’re freaking the hell out. Do me a favor and relax, because any man would be lucky to have you. Now, hang up and get your sexy ass inside.”

Christine gave herself a final once-over and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. “Thanks, Jasmine. You always know how to calm me down. Love you.”

“I love you too. Now go.”

Christine nervously inched her way over to the sign-up table, paid the twenty-dollar fee, picked up a nametag, and found an unoccupied chair. As the announcer went over all the rules of the event, she eyed the prospects and found several who looked attractive. Hope began to blossom. It seemed simple enough. Every two minutes a new man would sit down across from her and engage in a brief conversation. If she believed a connection was made, she would place his name on a card. The men would do the same, and if there was a match between cards, both parties would be notified through an email. “I can do this,” she mumbled.

The announcer rang the bell.

The first eligible bachelor, Bradley, sat down, and it was two minutes of pure awkwardness. His hands shook uncontrollably, and he wouldn’t stop apologizing. He refused to make eye contact and finally excused himself to the restroom, leaving her alone.

Christine couldn’t believe how badly the night was starting off. She tried to embrace Jasmine’s glass half full attitude and hope the next guy would at least remain seated for the entire two minutes.

Ding. A very handsome man with perfect features slid into the chair across from Christine. She noticed right off the bat he had no wrinkle lines, crow’s feet, laugh lines -- nada. She found that odd until he spoke. Then it all became clear. Unlike Bradley, he didn’t say “Hi” or offer any other pleasantries. His gaze traveled from her face down to her chest, head tilting left to right, and then he spoke. “You have a beautiful face and body, from what I can see, for a woman of your age, but if you ever decide to fix your trouble spots, I’d be happy to give you a discount.”

Christine couldn’t believe her luck. She already doubted her looks, and now this man she didn’t know was judging her appearance? Great, just freaking great. If she were Jasmine, she would’ve been spewing words that would make a sailor blush; however, Christine hated public confrontations. Instead she put on a fake smile. “Don’t bother writing my name down.” Their remaining time couldn’t possibly end quickly enough for her liking.

Ding. “Thank God that’s over.” One look at the surgeon, and she realized she’d spoken aloud. She opened her mouth to apologize, but before she could get the chance, he turned and walked away.

Prospective dates three through twelve were nice enough, but she knew they’d be no more than friends, and not the kind with naughty benefits. Her shoulders slumped in depression and she wondered why she’d let Jasmine talk her into this. A dozen men had come and gone but none lit a fire in her belly. Eyes downcast, she waited to hear the sound of a chair scraping the floor.

Instead, she felt cool glass press against her palm and a warm breath against her ear. “I didn’t know what you normally drink, but I sensed you needed something strong.”

Christine looked up into the most gorgeous eyes she’d ever seen. They were almost hypnotic, and his voice was equally distracting, drawing her in. She was clueless about how long she stared at him like a lovesick puppy, but it was long enough that another bachelor took his position for the two-minute meet and greet.

Spell broken, she addressed dreamy eyes first because she had to know his name. “Umm, yes, thank you, Mr…”

“You may call me Sin.” Then he stood upright and kept all his attention on her but clearly directed his words to the gentleman across the table. “If you were a smart man, you’d start the conversation by telling her how gorgeous she looks tonight. Let her know no other woman has ever looked lovelier in your eyes. That from the moment you saw her, you wanted nothing more than to feel her lips against yours, to touch her and be touched by her.”

Christine grew more aroused with each word Sin uttered. She’d come out tonight looking for a spark, and damn if she hadn’t found a five-alarm fire. Did Sin realize the effect his words were having on her?
He winked, and her silent question was answered. Damn him, he knew exactly what he was doing to her.

The other bachelor cleared his throat. “Yeah, thanks for the advice, but I don’t need it. I’ve got this.”
Sin’s face tensed up. “Not yet, you don’t.”

Bio:


Kameron and Dirk, a passionate couple in and out of the bedroom, has decided to join forces and bring their erotic imagination to life with words. Their solo stories are electric; however, the works they create together will practically sizzle off the page. Yes, they might live in a quiet suburb neighborhood, but they’re anything but tame and unadventurous. A fact you shall read and learn about soon enough.

Contact info:
Blog: http://www.dirkandkam.com
Facebook Author page: https://www.facebook.com/DirkandKam
Goodreads' links:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5781386.Kameron_Brook
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5120666.Dirk_Tyler

Amazon Author Pages:
http://amazon.com/author/kameronbrook
http://www.amazon.com/Dirk-Tyler/e/B00A8IDHMC/

Kam and Dirk collaboration – “Sinfully Delicious” (M/F)

(Purchase link)
http://www.changelingpress.com/product.php?&upt=book&ubid=1996

This THING Called Marketing

       So, you've written a book, managed to get it published and now you need to make people aware of the fact it's out there. How do you do that?

Seriously – I'm asking! I have three books – two are available in print as well as e-books the other is in e-book format only. They're great books, people would love them, but aside from a few sales a month, they aren't making me rich. No one is knocking down my door to make a movie and my bank account is still anemic.

I am not good at self-promotion. I've never been one to toot my own horn. I'm not going to wave a sign and say, “READ MY BOOKS!” I don't know how to write catchy copy, nor do I know clever marketing ploys. I am marketing inept, promotionaly illiterate and sales impaired.

I would love to know how books like “Twilight” and “50 Shades of Gray” became overnight sensations. What did those authors do and can I do it too? HOW did they get their books recognized by the masses? And why can't I?

It's frustrating knowing that I have amazing books that aren't selling. It's annoying to think that mediocre books can skyrocket to the top of the market when really good ones sit on the bottom rung.

I know there are websites devoted to this sort of thing. There are books and blogs and videos about how to make people more aware of your books. Sensory overload sets in and I am no better off than before I watched or read anything.

I see authors having giveaways, setting up contests and giving away all kinds of awesome products when people buy their books. They give away book bags, Amazon gift cards, jewelry, Kindles! I can't even afford a Kindle for myself, let alone buy it to give away. So what is a “poor” author supposed to do? I'm with two small publishers. They don't have promotional budgets either, which leaves it up to me. What little royalties I bring in go to buying food for my family or gas for the car. I can't put it toward a Kindle or Amazon card or some other kind of swag (a truly obnoxious word, in my opinion) to give away.

If someone has promotional ideas to share, I'd love to hear them. Meanwhile, I'm having a quiet cup of coffee while I wait for inspiration to strike. I have a feeling it's going to be a long wait.

© Dellani Oakes

Capturing the Castle (How “Once Upon a Castle” was born)

My guest today is author Alan S. Blood. He's visiting here today to share how his story, Once Upon a Castle came to be. Alan, welcome to Writer's Sanctuary.

On a bitterly cold, November afternoon, I found myself stranded near Bamburgh Castle on the wild Northumberland coast whilst the local, old fashioned garage, with tall petrol pumps, repaired my broken-down car.

The delicate, somewhat bright, late autumn sunlight created an eerie, pastel coloured scene, albeit tempered by a biting breeze, yet quite magical, certainly ancient, and almost ethereal.

Vikings have landed here,’ I told myself scanning the unique white beaches below the hazy castle ramparts. It was one of those strange experiences that triggered the imagination and I could see a Scandinavian longship coming ashore, disgorging horned-helmeted warriors seizing the beach before storming inland to ravage the sparse Saxon populace. I could feel that there was a tale to be told.

With the genesis of a story in my mind, I conducted research into Northumbrian castles and was intrigued to discover there was another ruined castle along the coast. This gave me a plot basis involving two castles, one of which was real and the other a phantom! Ideas built as I thought this was an area to where children were evacuated during World War II.

Things shaped towards an exciting novel for young adolescents involving twelve-year-old twins, Tom and Mary (to appeal to both sexes) who dread being sent from southern England to Aunt Victoria’s Northumberland farm. Yet she proves to be young, and fun, until lessons are arranged with a terrible private tutor, Miss Urquart. Their London Uncle Toby had said: “There will be castles to explore with ghosts and things.”

Teenage rebelliousness ensues as the twins escape and riotous, scary adventures involving castles, Vikings and even the Royal Navy begin.

Once Upon a Castle is republished by USA publisher GMTA Publishing under their imprint, Mythos Press.




About: Once Upon a Castle

Uncle Toby had said that there would be castles to explore, with ghosts and things. This helps to cheer up the glum twelve-year old Lovell twins, Tom and Mary, leaving their schools and loving parents to be evacuated to wild Northumbria during World War II. Then the adventure begins.

They live with their Aunt Victoria and Uncle Leslie, meet the loveable ‘Mrs M’, a strange dog called ‘Scamp’ and, worst, the terrible private tutor, Miss Urquart, from whom they run away to find a mysterious castle seen through an old telescope.

Now they are drawn into bizarre supernatural events of a time-warp between the war itself and ancient warfare. They encounter dark forces, as the story twists and turns, and are even rescued by the Royal Navy. Yet, this is only the beginning of more unexpected tragedies before the twins begin to escape from it all.

ABOUT ALAN:

Alan S. Blood worked in the British Civil Service, Advertising and journalism (edited three publications) before qualifying as a Teacher from the University of Reading, England. He enjoyed a long, distinguished career in the Teaching Profession, in both Primary and Secondary levels of education, in several parts of the UK - which eventually led to Senior Management. His main subject area was English and, at one time, he was Head of English and Drama. Throughout, he gained considerable knowledge of literature that children and adolescents enjoy.

Alan now devotes his time to writing novels, plays, screenplays and poetry. He won top award in the ‘Hastings International Poetry Festival’ (2003) with his controversial ‘litter’ poem ‘CONTRITE CAN CANNOT’. The paranormal genre features in much of his prose work.

‘ONCE UPON A CASTLE’ is a ghost story written for young people (but also enjoyed by adults) set in World War 11. It concerns both a real and a phantom castle based upon Alan’s experience of strange castles on the wild Northumbrian coast of England on cold, dark wintry afternoon.

Alan Blood has widely traveled the world and undertook research in Chile where some of his supernatural crime thriller ‘CRY OF THE MACHI A Suffolk Murder Mystery’ is set. He was previously a Cotswold Morris Dancer and the novel is a conflict between the forces of good and evil linking a Chilean ‘Machi’ and ‘organised crime’ to murders in a Suffolk Morris Men side.

Alan enjoys wildlife photography in the Welsh countryside, painting and scraperboard engraving. He lives in a Victorian (1873) house below the Cambrian Mountains of Mid-Wales.

Connect With Alan

Website:  http://www.alansblood.co.uk/
Goodreads:  http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5068714.Alan_S_Blood
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Alan-S-Blood-AUTHOR/237585902938877
Facebook Like Page:  https://www.facebook.com/OnceUponACastle
Twitter:  https://twitter.com/AlanSBlood

Buy the Book: 
Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Once-Upon-Castle-Alan-Blood/dp/1478306750/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1357603197&sr=8-3&keywords=once+upon+a+castle
Barnes & Noble:  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/once-upon-a-castle-alan-s-blood/1112345687?ean=9781478306757
Createspace:  https://www.createspace.com/3947440
Kobo:  http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Once-Upon-a-Castle/book-540nsPe1AEGmScLmvz8ulg/page1.html?s=6IoRz8t4WECzM-9ZzI0wQQ&r=1

Something to Lean On

     Every author, new or experienced, has a crutch to lean on. For some, it's formulaic plots that are rehashes of prior books. For others, it's repetitive, lifeless dialogue. Others use words and phrases repetitively, so much so, it stands out on the page and interferes with the story. This is the crutch I most want to address.

I've noticed that particularly newer, less experienced authors do this. I found it in my own work when I went back to edit some of my early books for publication. There is, first of all, a compulsion to tell every little action.

For example: Suddenly angry, Wil, whose back was to the door, turned around, ran to the door, flung it open and began to run through the door.

If I did my job right in this scene, I've established the fact he's got an explosive temper. We know by prior discussion & dialogue that Wil is growing angry. All that aside, what's wrong with this sentence?

For starters, it tells too much. We may not know Wil has his back to the door, but is that really necessary? Not unless we are establishing a confrontation. In which case, it should be brought up sooner.

Second, if his back is to the door, we know he's got to turn around to get to it.

Third, he's pretty much got to open the door if he's going to run through the doorway. Unless he's interested in hurting himself, he's not going to run through the door.

Fourth, he's not beginning to run. He began that movement at the start of the sentence. That's a conclusion to the action, not a beginning.

Let's look at a better way to say that. We establish that Wil is in the room, his back to the door, confronted by someone who makes him angry. We see his anger grow and his exit is a culmination to that growing anger.

Wil flung the door open, exiting angrily.

Flinging open the door, Wil rushed out.

Spinning on his heel, Wil flung open the door and dashed out of the room.

Any of these options, and many more, could be incorporated. He's angry and he runs out. I kept the word flung/ flinging, because it is a very specific action verb. He didn't open that door calmly, he whipped it back, possibly putting a hole in the wall. It expresses his anger and desire to leave quickly.

Many inexperienced authors chain themselves to inexpressive verbs. They rely on the old standbys and spice them up with a bunch of adverbs. Not that I dislike adverbs – I'm very fond of them. But don't use them instead of a good verb.

Hearkening back to the sentence above. You'll notice that one thing I said was: began to run through the door

This is something I saw in my own work and I see in others. It's often exchanged with started to

I have no idea why authors do this. I can't even tell you why I did it myself. In fact, I still find myself doing it from time to time. If anyone can explain it, I'd love an answer. In the meantime, I simply need to make a concerted effort not to use it.

Instead of saying – He began to run or He started to run – the sentence should be He ran – pure and simple. No beginnings or starts necessary. He ran for the door.

Another crutch I often see with this is overuse of the word then. It's most often seen in a sentence where a series of actions are strung together.

Example: The woman began to scream, then started to run, then fell down and then started to cry.

My example seems like overkill, but trust me, as an editor, I've seen worse. So much is wrong with this sentence, let's pull it apart before we put it back together.

First of all – why do we need then at all? It's extraneous. These actions are happening in a series, therefore, we know that this happened before that happened. So, we pull out then. We're left with:

The woman began to scream, started to run, fell down and started to cry.

That's a lot of beginning and starting. So, let's pull them out too.

The woman screamed, ran, fell down and cried.

What we're left with is a little sketchy, so let's go back and add to it.

The woman screamed. Running away, she fell down and started to cry.

Here, you notice I put started to cry back in. Why? Because she wasn't crying before. Falling initiated the tears. In this instance, using started to works in the sentence.

Finding our crutches isn't always easy. We need fresh eyes or a more critical viewpoint. Printing the pages helps a lot with this, as does reading something aloud. For some reason, the words look different when they are on a printed page and mistakes are easier to spot. When you read aloud, your brain has to make sense of the words in a different way. You've added a new component – speech – to the process. You listen to the words as well as see them and it's easier to pick up on repetition or left out words, grammatical mistakes and awkward structure.

A writer doesn't have to be an English teacher in order to tell the story, but it's mandatory to have a working grasp of the language. Recognizing an error, and how to correct it, is essential. It's also important to identify the crutches and remove them, as much as possible, from your work.

© Dellani Oakes

Books by Dellani Oakes

Books by Dellani Oakes My first book trailer. Music is Spanish Confrontation by Jimmy G

Inside The Secret World of Allison Bruning: CWA: A Florida Paradise

Inside The Secret World of Allison Bruning: CWA: A Florida Paradise: Paradise awaits you watch the sunrise over the crisp blue ocen. Such beauty and grace surround you. You could feel the laid back spirit of F...

Look for Me Today at Words of Wisdom from the Scarf Princess!

Thanks to Joder for inviting me to guest blog about my novel, The Ninja Tattoo!

http://wowfromthescarfprincess.blogspot.com/2012/11/book-tour-for-tirgearr-publishing-ninja.html?showComment=1352478558711#c2901464867524247233

GIVE A BOOK FOR A GIFT!

It's almost Christmas and the last minute shoppers (like me) still need gifts. Give your friends and family something they can enjoy for years to come - books and art. For my author & artist friends, I invite you to add your links in the comments section. For potential buyers, check out the great deals my guests have left here. Above all, have a wonderful and joyous Christmas!

Please, each of you, only do this once per person so everyone has a chance to showcase their work. Periodically, I will post a link to this site on Facebook and other social media so that potential buyers will be able to browse and shop. Feel free to direct your fans & customers to this site. They might find something else to love.

For my shameless self-promotion: I am an author, mostly of romantic fiction. My historical romance, Indian Summer, is available at all on-line shops as well as the publisher Second Wind Publishing. Also look for Lone Wolf, the first in my sci-fi series.

For romantic suspense, hop over to Tirgearr Publishing and look for The Ninja Tattoo. Also, look for my new holiday themed romance Dulcet.

Merry Christmahannakwanza, y'all!

Goddess Fish Party Pavilion: Tirgearr Publishing Holiday Extravaganza

Goddess Fish Party Pavilion: Tirgearr Publishing Holiday Extravaganza: Welcome to the first annual Holiday Extravaganza at Tirgearr Publishing!! Meet Our Authors Tour   At today's pre-event party, we'd l...

Goddess Fish Party Pavilion: Tirgearr Publishing presents Kemberlee Shortland

Goddess Fish Party Pavilion: Tirgearr Publishing presents Kemberlee Shortland: KEMBERLEE SHORTLAND As I tried to think of so mething to write for this blog post, many things came to mind . . . research, character de...

Goddess Fish Party Pavilion: Tirgearr Publishing presents K.A. Laity

Goddess Fish Party Pavilion: Tirgearr Publishing presents K.A. Laity: K.A. LAITY Chastity Flame started with my love for James Bond spy stuff and the kick ass heroine Modesty Blaise. I even wrote a spy nove...

Everyone’s Story: Kenneth Weene: Take Revenge On Aging By Writing!

Everyone’s Story: Kenneth Weene: Take Revenge On Aging By Writing!: Everyone's Story welcomes author Kenneth Weene. Ken, with his wife, is a transported New Englander now settled down in the golden land of ...

Voice Isn't That Important, Is It?

I'm delighted to play host to author Wendi Zwaduk, whose books included Over My Head, Please Remember Me, and Still the One. Welcome, Wendi!

Seems like a silly way to title this post doesn’t it? A voice not being important? Well, it is. First, let me thank Dellani for having me on the blog today. It’s always great getting to know new friends and hanging out with old friends.

Now about that voice... When I started writing, I had no idea an author had a voice. Don’t get me wrong, I knew when I read a book by the same author, the flavor would be the same. That’s what I expected. But I never expected that my work would have a voice. I mean, they get paid to write that way. Back then, I was just struggling along. I used to take notes on what others wrote and how they conveyed feelings, trying to figure out what my voice in my writing would be.

Little by little I realized that while they shaped me as a reader and made me see what I didn’t want to put in my work, my voice was ultimately mine to develop. Trial, error and just letting the characters do what they wanted to do. If I’ve got a story that’s extremely sexual and the feelings are the conflict, then I write it a certain way. If I’m writing something with lots of external conflict, it will sound different than the sexy stuff. I write under a pen name, Megan Slayer, as well. Her books have a different flavor than my Wendi stuff. And I’m good with that.

My writing is a reflection of who I am as a person. I’m multifaceted and so is my work. Sometimes it’s hard to switch gears. If I’m deep in a Megan story, I have to change my mind frame to work on a Wendi story. I’m bad. I tend to have at least one Megan story and one Wendi story going at the same time. But the nice thing is that the characters tend to be so polar opposite that I can slip into a Wendi story mind frame or a Megan one faster than if they were too similar.

What about you? Can you tell when you’re reading something, this has got to be _______ writing this? Or no? I’d love to know. I can’t always tell. There’s lots of times when I thought, wow this is a totally new author, only to find out that it’s someone I know. So let me know your thoughts.

And once again, thanks to Dellani! I’m glad to be here.

'Still The One' by Wendi Zwaduk

She'll be his salvation if he's willing to switch.

Being stressed out sucks, especially when you're in charge of a team. Just ask Eric Trask. The pit crew of the Fifty-Four truck team depends on him. The stress of keeping things running smoothly is wearing Eric down. What's a guy to do to get a little relief?

Janine Walters knows exactly what Eric's up against. She's the public relations face of the team. Pressure is all a part of the job. Her outlet for stress just happens to be wielding a crop.

Can Eric embrace her methods for stress relief or will her suggestion tear their fragile relationship apart?

Reader Advisory: This book contains the use of a crop, spanking, a little bondage, a little pegging, some toys and a woman who knows how to use a strap on to pleasure her man.

http://www.total-e-bound.com/product.asp?strParents=&CAT_ID=&P_ID=1787

Want to know more about Wendi Zwaduk? Here you go:

I always dreamt of writing the stories in my head. Tall, dark, and handsome heroes are my favorites, as long as he has an independent woman keeping him in line. I earned a BA in education at Kent State University and currently hold a Masters in Education with Nova Southeastern University.   

I love NASCAR, romance, books in general, Ohio farmland, dirt racing, and my menagerie of animals.  I also write under the pen name of Megan Slayer. I’m published with Total-E-Bound, Changeling Press, Liquid Silver Books, Turquoise Morning Press, Decadent Publishing and The Wild Rose Press. Come join me for this fantastic journey!  

If you like my work, tell your friends and email me. I love hearing from readers!

Site: http://wendizwaduk.com/

Blog: http://wendizwaduk.blogspot.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/WendiZwaduk

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wendi.zwaduk

Fan page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wendi-Zwaduk/195277927167481?ref=tn_tnmn

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/author/wendizwaduk

Goodreads:http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3495446.Wendi_Zwaduk

On Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/wendizwaduk/

On Google+ : https://plus.google.com/115637543946745656739/posts

On Romance Novel Center: http://www.romancenovelcenter.com/wendizwaduk

Newsletter sign up:  http://ymlp.com/xgjmjumygmgj 

The Ninja Tattoo Makes Its Debut!

My newest novel, The Ninja Tattoo, makes its debut from Tirgearr Publishing

Teague McMurtry thinks that the most dangerous time in his life was serving in the Army in Afghanistan. Little does he know that something far worse awaits him at home. Teague's been targeted for death by a deadly gang. The man who kills him will earn the coveted Ninja Tattoo, showing that he's attained the gang's hierarchy.

Teague must put all his training and ingenuity to the test to protect himself and the woman he loves.

Excerpt: 

  Teague sat up in bed, listening, trying to decide what had woken him. His door opened quietly, and he had his gun out, pointed at the door as his cousin stepped in, closing it behind him.

"What the f***?" Teague whispered. "Are you insane?"

"I knew you wouldn't shoot until you saw me," Jed said, putting a finger to his lips. "That wasn't you, was it?"

"What?"

The sound repeated, faint but distinct—glass tinkling against the hard, marcite floor. Teague put on his boxers and jeans quickly, following Jed out. Closing the bedroom door quietly, he locked the knob before pulling it shut. Vivica hadn't stirred and Teague hoped they wouldn't wake her. Joel was waiting for them in the living room. He motioned that the sound had come from the side door facing the street. There were three directions of approach, from the Florida room on the front of the house, the living room or the kitchen. Teague took the kitchen as it afforded the most cover. He was the only one without a vest, wishing he'd thought to grab his when he had the chance.

Jed came up from the other side and Joel faced the door. As they watched, an arm came through the hole in the small, glass pane, snaking around to unlock the deadbolt. Teague's impulse was to shoot first and then ask questions, but Joel was in charge as senior officer. He didn't want to, but he bowed to his cousin's judgement. Joel concealed himself in shadows, waiting to see if there was more than one. A tall, bald man walked in, looking around as if he owned the place. He shut the door behind him, getting his bearings. Jed came up behind him, pressing his gun to his head. Instead of fighting, the man held up his hands, clicking the safety on his weapon, he spun it on his finger, handing it butt first to Joel without being told. His face was up against the wall, cuffs on wrists before he spoke.

"Where's McMurtry?"

"Which one? You got three of us," Joel replied.

"Ah, the cop cousins. Where's Teague?"

"Why do you want him?" Jed said, spinning the man around to face them.

"Because I have a message for him," he said calmly. "Someone is trying to kill him."

"Yeah, who?" Jed asked.

"Me."

The room exploded in loud, masculine curses and disbelief.

"Reach into my right front vest pocket. My ID is in there. You can check me for other stuff, but that's my only weapon. My name's McCaffrey. I'm a fed."

A number of things happened very quickly. Joel checked the man's ID, ordering Jed to release him immediately. He did so after a thorough pat down. They holstered their sidearms when the lights blazed on, dazzling them all. Vivica stood in the doorway, a pistol in her left hand, her right on the switch. The men blinked against the glare, shading their eyes as Vivica stared at the man in disbelief.

"Mac? What the hell?" She collapsed, weapon clattering to the floor.

The Ninja Tattoo is available now from Amazon, Smashwords and Tirgearr Publishing.

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/The-Ninja-Tattoo-ebook/dp/B009H7798I/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1348849192&sr=8-5&keywords=dellani+oakes

Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/239820

Tirgearr Publishing: http://www.tirgearrpublishing.com/authors/Oakes_Dellani/the-ninja-tattoo.htm

The Ninja Tattoo – Dellani Oakes

The Ninja Tattoo – Dellani Oakes Look for it Sept 29, 2012 at B&N, Amazon and Tirgearr Publishing!

BIG UGLY CANCER

Speaking of cancer....

I've got this on my mind today because I went for my mammogram yesterday. They tell you “Everything looks good”, but you don't get the official results for several days. The waiting sucks. Needless to say, I woke up in a bad mood today and I'm trying to shake it. THINK POSITIVE! Not easy to do after you've had cancer.

I was talking to the technician yesterday and she asked me how I discovered my lump. So I told her. I had been part of a drug study the year before and was preparing to participate in another. As part of the preliminary work-up, they did a screening mammogram. They found something. That's a very ominous sound on the phone. “It's probably nothing,” the nurse in charge of the project said. “But you need further tests to be sure.” So we had further tests.

I had cancer.

On the plus side, if there is such a thing with that diagnosis, it was a very small tumor and it was stage one. On the negative side, it was a very aggressive type of cancer. They throw all kinds of words at you when you get a cancer diagnosis, none of which really sink in. You hear things like malignant, tumor, surgery. Then you hear more scary words, but the only one that really makes an impact is mastectomy.

Of course, they don't tell you at the time that mastectomies can be done with reconstruction. Not only do they get rid of your tumor, they give you new boobs at the same time. I heard the scary word and opted for a lumpectomy, because I didn't know any better. Neither did my husband. He's an RN, but this was as new to him as it was to me.

If you're diagnosed with breast cancer and are told about a mastectomy, remember that this doesn't mean you'll wake up without breasts. This means you'll have surgery to remove the cancer as well as plastic surgery to give you a whole new chest. I didn't know this, so I didn't do it. I wish I had.

Now, I go back every six months for a screening. Yearly, they do both. At the six month mark, they screen the right breast, since that's where my cancer was. My cancer was hereditary – also didn't know this going into surgery, or I would have had the mastectomy. There is a test, but it's very expensive, and a lot of insurance companies won't cover it. Mine did. Thank you, United Health Care! I had the test done after I'd had chemo and radiation.

I think my doctor talked to me about it before hand, but once again, you only hear a little of what's being said. Also, when you consider that you have a surgeon, a chemo oncologist and a radiation oncologist, each doctor is giving you more and more information. That's confusing. As the patient, you start to get sensory overload. So much to remember, so many BIG WORDS!

Fortunately, my doctors were good about answering any questions I had. My radiation oncologist answered 90% of my questions before I even asked them. The oncology team I'm with has been wonderful. The nurses and doctors are compassionate and efficient.

Ladies, I urge you to have regular mammograms and do self-exams. If you don't know how, your doctor or a nurse can tell you. Men, if breast cancer runs in your family, find out how you can prevent it in yourself.

I was lucky, we found mine very early with the screening. The placement of the tumor was such that I wouldn't have found it on my own until it was much bigger. Don't be like some people and put the doctor's appointment off because you're afraid it “might be cancer”. Yes, it might be, but you can't fight it if you don't know. Why be scared of something unknown when you can put that energy into fighting it?

Don't let cancer beat you. You beat the cancer.

The Nature of Reality A Guest Blog Post by Michelle Devon

I'm delighted today to turn the board over to Michelle Devon, author of CELESTE. Michelle has a few things to say about reality and perceptions. Michelle, welcome to the Writer's Sanctuary. We all have a slightly warped sense of reality. You should fit right in! ~ Dellani

Walker Author Tours

One of the things I like about being a writer is that I can create my own reality. Sort of. Okay, maybe I can't always create my own reality, but I can create the reality of my characters, who are very real to me. I live with them during the writing process, from creation to the final release of them into the wild.

My family accepts this at face value, and we often discuss my characters as though they are real people. But outside of my immediate family, these characters in my stories are not so real. That creates an interesting conundrum in my life. Let me explain.

One evening, my mother was in town and came for dinner. While we ate, I said something to my friend, Lynn. "Right, like Brent did…"

My mother asked, "Who's Brent?"

I looked at Lynn, looked at my mom, then mumbled, "Uhm, one of the characters in a book I'm writing."

The blank stares are something I'm used to seeing. They've followed me much of my life.

Fortunately for me, the people in my immediate family just nod and get it and that's a blessing for me. I'm not only understood and allowed to do what I love, but I'm encouraged and supported in the doing of it. You can't beat that. It's part of why I call myself a "professional dreamer"… because I'm living my dream, and making a living at it.

But back to reality. Well, not that that isn't reality, but I'm digressing…

I watched a television documentary one night about a woman who had been committed to a psychiatric facility because she was a danger to herself. She saw spiders all over, crawling on the walls, the bed, and worst of all, herself. In order to get rid of the spiders, she'd claw at herself, scratch her skin and face until she bled and was raw. She frequently had to be sedated in order to protect her from herself.

Nobody else could see these spiders. Were they real?

And that's the crux of this whole issue of reality… the spiders were real, at least to that one women. It didn't matter if you could see them or I could see them or anyone else could see them. She could see them, and that was her perception. And in this instance, her perception was her reality. That meant the spiders were real, if only to her.

Ultimately, the goal would be to treat the woman so that she could no longer see the spiders. To bring her to the point where she saw the same things we all saw, or in this case, didn't see.

And how does this all relate to CELESTE? Glad you asked (I know you didn't, but go with me here). I started to think about reality in general, what is real, our perceptions, etc. After all, whatever we perceive as being real is our reality, even if it's not for anyone else. If you think someone is lying to you, your reality is that they lied, even if they were telling the truth. Later, you might have to change your perception and your reality if you learn they were telling the truth, but until you do, your reality matches your perception.

So the story of CELESTE is a story of perceptions, realities that don't match, and having to realign the perceptions and realities when a new perception is revealed. And then perhaps even finding out that the original perception was right all along. When the reality isn't unpleasant—like spiders and scary things—and a person is functional, does it really matter if their perceptions don't match the reality of the majority? And if so, do we treat them to bring their reality in line with the majority, even if it causes pain or displeasure to do so?

These are difficult questions for even experts to answer, and in my mind, that makes them great things to write about in a fiction venue. We can explore these things, experiment with people, if you will, without hurting anyone, and do it in the name of entertainment.

Think about a time in your life when you thought things were a certain way, only to find out later that you'd perceived it all wrong. Realigning perceptions is frequently one of the most difficult things a person can do.

And that is one of the best things about being a writer. If your reality (at least in a story) doesn't work for you, simply backspace, erase it, and rewrite. Would that life were so simple.

Love and stuff,

Michy

Dellani Oakes is Proud to Be a Host for Walker Author Tours!

Walker Author Tours