I Love Dialogue from Love on a Catwalk
"Hallo, guv!" I replied.
"Is what's his cheeks there?"
"Yes, Jeff is here."
"Excellent. May I bend his ear a wee bit?"
"Have you been drinking?" Brent isn't usually this cheerful.
"Not for the last half hour," he drawled. "Prior to, quite a bit. Had some good news."
"Yes! Two bits, actually. First of all It's a girl Huzzah!"
"Really? Shaine had the baby? Isn't it a little early?"
"Brought on by weather, so they tell us. Colt, with the able assistance of the lads and his lovely bride, delivered her at the theatre, as we were snowed in."
"That's so exciting! Congratulations! And what's bit number two?"
"Full funding for the film, in the bank, luxuriating. Between me and a few filthy rich, though generous, friends we are completely funded and ready to rock this spring. One thing, though. She's decided motherhood is more important than stardom and she's offering you the part."
"What? Me? Oh, my God! Really?"
"I wouldn't be calling in my semi-sober, passably inebriated state, otherwise. You and your lad, what's-his-diddle. We want you both. Can that be arranged? Oh, can the bugger act?"
"I'll ask what's-his-diddle and you can see for yourself when we get together with you this week. He's anxious to meet with you."
"Excellent. When I am my usual sober, sedate self, we shall speak—oh, list, list!" I heard the phone clatter. "Oh, fuck," he grumbled. Fumbling and rattling, another fall or two. I hoped Brent was at home where he couldn't hurt himself. "Got it! I got it," he gasped. "Slippery fucker. Yes. When I am less—" He burped and hiccuped. "In me cups, we shall chat. Sally will call. She's sober and sedate as we speak."
"Is she with you?"
"Yes. She was kind enough to take me home so I can sober up before I join my lovely wife and pink swaddled bundle at hospital. I shall not introduce my wee daughter to the ravages of alcohol at her tender age." I heard the phone fall again. "Fuck balls," he grumbled.
The phone clattered once more. "Hi, it's Sally. He's collapsed on the couch. Drunk off his ass." She lowered her voice. "This scared the crap out of him. He was terrified we'd lose her. Girl's a trooper, but thank God for Colt and Suzie! Dave helped too. It was pretty intense. It took the ambulance over an hour to get to us. By that time, little Snowdrop was born."
"They didn't really name her that!"
"Of course not, her name is Vera Rose after his mother and her sister."
"What a lovely thing to do. She and Shaine are well?"
"Doing just great. How about you and Mr. Heartbreak?"
"Please, don't call him that, Sally," I said with a sorrowful sigh. "It really was my fault. I broke up with him. But things are working out."
Jeff put his arms around me, holding me close from behind. He nuzzled my neck. "Hey, Sally," he called.
"He asked me to marry him," I said with a happy laugh. "And I said yes!"
"She came to her senses," Jeff added. He took my phone abruptly. "Hey, Sally?"
"Yes, Jeff?" her voice had lost its edge.
"I really want to take Miranda back to bed so I can boff her senseless."
She burst out laughing. "Okay! I'm going to sit here until himself sobers up. I'll call—tomorrow—with a time to meet up with Brent."
"I'm working tomorrow. Call Babs, she has my schedule."
"Will do. By the way," she dropped her voice so I could no longer hear her.
Jeff hung on every word, laughing a little as his ears turned red. "That's a really great idea. Thanks, Sally!"
"No problem," she said loudly. "Bye, Randi! Enjoy!"
He hung up. Phone dropped on the counter and he grabbed me.
"She gave me an excellent idea."
"Mm hmm. No phones allowed in the bedroom," he said, taking his from his pocket, dropping it beside mine.
© 2016 Dellani Oakes