Tanya and Morgan have been together for a couple months when his friend, Hal turns up. It's Morgan's birthday, but he forgot to mention it to Tanya. The three of them get to talking about a palimony case brought against Morgan by his ex-girlfriend, Vanessa - a money grubbing witch of a woman with bad hair and a worse temper. Hal compliments Tanya's house, bemoaning the fact that his house is farther from work than hers.
"Hal loves shortcuts," Morgan explained. "He spends hours looking for them and plotting them out. No matter how long it takes him, he figures out back roads and shortcuts everywhere he goes. Ask him directions to anywhere in the city, he can tell you and give you an estimate of how long it will take to get you there."
"Morgan's jealous," Hal confided to Tanya. "He's really directionally impaired. He won't admit it, of course."
"Oh, of course not," Tanya giggled. "He finds his way to the most important places, don't you baby?"
"Yeah," Morgan grinned, putting his arm around her. "I can find my way to the bedroom with absolutely no wrong turns." He kissed her tenderly, his eyes glowing with happiness.
"Oh, hey," Hal changed the subject suddenly. "Before I forget, Caden said to tell you something."
"Yeah? What's that lawyer sell-out got to say for himself?"
"Cut the guy some slack, Morph," Hal's eyes looked slightly pained. "He found something that will help your lawsuit."
"How'd you find out about that? I don't remember telling you."
"Because my mom is friends with your step-mom. Mom and Julie talk all the time, so word got out. Were you planning to tell me?"
"Like I said, you've been out of town quite awhile. It slipped my mind. Not like I could call you in Rwanda or wherever the hell you were."
"I was doing volunteer work," Hal explained. "I do a few months a year. I keep trying to get Morgan to come, but he hates to fly."
"And I refuse to drive to Uruguay, so I don't go."
"You could go on one of the ships," Tanya said. "I hear those are interesting."
"Not interesting enough. Come with me, then I'll think about it. I refuse to travel for months on end patching up people in a third world country and being celibate at the same time."
"I'll think about it," she replied with a grin.
"I don't know how you stand it," Morgan said to Hal. "The whole depriving yourself of female companionship for three months. I'd die."
"Who said I was deprived?" Hal's eyes twinkled, flecks of gold sparkling with humor.
"Toothless, mountain, hags don't count," Morgan corrected him.
"Actually, she was one of the other doctors and very pretty. Her name was Celestina and she was from Brazil."
"You still seeing her?"
"No, she went back to Brazil."
Morgan nodded. "So, in effect, you're celibate again."
"Why do you care?" Hal sounded slightly irritated with the entire conversation.
Morgan smirked, chuckling while he fixed his coffee. "I care because now I can tease you unmercifully about being a priest and stand there smiling with ill concealed glee while you complain about not being laid."
"I guess I'll have to find myself a woman then. Got any suggestions?"
"Tanya's friend, Davida, is available."
"Really. You think I'd do well with her?" He smirked and flexed.
"I think she'd eat you alive after you mated," was Morgan's snappy reply.
"Because I love you, I won't tell her you said that," Tanya giggled.
"I don't think she likes me anyway," Hal shrugged. "We've gotten off on the wrong foot. At least that's all I can figure out. We don't see eye to eye on much of anything."
"That's because she's seven foot two and you're only six two," Morgan said. "So what was it your lawyer brother had to tell me? We got off that subject at Rwanda."
"Uruguay. Okay, basically he said to tell you to call him. You two may not get along, but he's one of the best damn lawyers in the city and you know it. If he's willing to set aside your differences, why can't you?"
"Because I didn't hit me in the face, dislocate my jaw and piss me off for no reason," Morgan said in a matter-of-fact tone."I happen to be fond of myself."
"He thought you told me about. . . ."
"I know why he did it. Anyway, so I should call him. Why can't you just tell me what's what and leave it at that?"
"Because I'm not a fucking lawyer and I'm not your bitch, is why," Hal exploded. "One day you two will start to listen to me."
"Either that or we could lock them in a room with a rabid, horny wildebeest and see who makes it out alive," Tanya offered, trying to diffuse the situation.
"I like how this woman thinks, Morph. Can I steal her from you?"
"I don't know. Honey, would you like Hal to steal you from me?"
"That depends," Tanya brushed Morgan's hair out of his face.
"On what?" He frowned slightly.
"On if he can do in bed the things you do. If so, it would be very stiff competition."
Morgan looked thoughtful. "That I don't know. I've never examined Hal's bedside manner."
"Well, since I like yours, I guess I'll stick with you."
They kissed for several seconds before Hal quit laughing and got annoyed instead. "Other person in the room," he said loudly.
"This is why you date girls from Botswana," Morgan said as he nibbled Tanya's earlobe.
"Brazil. It wasn't a serious relationship. Great sex, no commitment."
"I like commitment," Morgan continued to nibble.