I Love Dialogue from We Are the Champions by Dellani

"Hansel, Kate and Ron, you're in this one. Ron, your character has an imaginary friend and Hansel is that friend. Kate is your wife who can't see your imaginary friend. He keeps getting you into trouble. When you're ready, begin."

Hansel grinned, rubbing his hands together. They all took a moment to prepare. Kate shook back her hair, and started miming the movement of the knife on a cutting board. Hansel turned his back, crouching. Ron mimed coming through the door.

"Hi, Honey Bear!" He walked over to Kate, kissing her on the cheek.

"Mom called today. She's coming for a visit."

"Great," he said, face hardening.

Hansel popped up behind Kate. "Oh, joy, the gorgon!" he said in a smarmy British accent.

Ron jumped, hissing at him to be quiet.

"Did you say something, honey?"

"I said, sounds great."

"Mummy Dearest! Does our ickle Honey Bear miss her mumsy wumsy?"

"Shut up!" Ron tried to hush his friend.

"Mummy doesn't like us, precious. Mummy thinks we aren't good enough for Honey Bear."

"She likes us—me—just fine."

"Sure, she does...."

The scene progressed, getting somewhat darker than intended. Asher decided to enter into the scene, trying to lighten the mood. He started dancing around like a ballerina on crack.

"What's this? Who are you?" Hansel demanded.

"I'm the Honey Bear! I'm Naomi's friend!"

"Well, you can sod off, mate. This is my domain."

Asher tapped him on the head with one of his pencils.

"Here, what was that?"

"It's a happy stick," Asher said, waving it around. He tapped Hansel with it several more times. "Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working."

"I'm happy. Blissful, that's me." Hansel giggled giddily. "See?" He chuckled and guffawed.

Ron and Kate kept up a domestic sounding conversation about her mother's visit. Asher stopped dancing, eyeing Hansel.

"That's it? That's all you've got?" He took on a disgusted stance, hands on hips. "You suck, man. You've got to be the worst imaginary friend ever."

"What?" Hansel screeched.

"Bo-ring! I can out laugh you in my sleep."

"Can't!"

"Can too. Ha!" Asher laughed loudly, leaning toward Hansel.

"Ha ha!"

"Ha, ha, ha!" Asher tapped Ron with his pencil.

Ron giggled, covering his mouth with his hand. Kate glared at him.

"You think that's funny?" she giggled.

Ron laughed again.

"Ha, ha-ha, aha!" Asher laughed.

Hansel repeated him, adding to it. Soon, they both started laughing in earnest. Kate could no longer keep a straight face. Ron held on a little longer, but soon they were all laughing hard, holding their stomachs. It went on long enough that Riker stepped forward, hands out.

"I'm calling the scene," he said in a solemn tone. "We've had enough jocularity for one evening."

"Jocularity," Hansel wheezed.

Asher grabbed himself. "He said jock!"

The audience started clapping and they called the scene. Still giggling, Asher went back to his desk.

"Not sure where that came from, but I'd say it was successful." Sitting down, he pulled another card.

© 2017 Dellani Oakes

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