The
therapist looked around the group steepling his fingers. Smiling
ponderously he turned to the newest member. "Everyone, this is
Letitia. She's joining us for the first time. Letitia, why don't you
share with the group some of the things that make you angry."
Letitia
smiled sweetly at him. "You mean like other than smarmy
psychologists with ingratiating voices and sissy mannerisms?"
His
smile faded slightly as he brought his hands to his lap. "Yes,
other than that."
"Stupid
people," she said tersely.
"Define
stupid," a short, wiry, Hispanic youth across from her said.
Letitia
thought for a moment. "Stupid people, hm. Can't walk, can't
talk, shouldn't breathe?"
He
grinned, nodding for her to go on. The therapist frowned.
"Get
behind them in the grocery store - Oops! They forgot something. Okay,
we all do that sometimes. Once, I have no problem with. But this one
lady I got behind went back three times! I wanted to choke her."
"What
did you do?" An excitable older woman to her right said.
"Next
time she started to turn around, I blocked the way and told her the
only way she was leaving the line again was through me."
"What
did she do?" The youth asked.
"About
peed herself," she looked smug.
He
clapped and nodded. "Right on!"
"See
here," the therapist tried to assert himself. "We aren't
encouraging this kind of behavior. What Letitia did was wrong. You
can't intimidate people at he grocery store!"
"Why
not?" The man next to him asked. "I think it's great. Get
what you need and get out. If you forget something, go back after you
pay for the rest. Not so hard to do." He leaned forward toward
the group. "My pet peeve is people who can't make up their minds
what they want to order at a fast food place. They've been in line
ten minutes with that huge menu in front of them. Do they look at it?
No. Not until they get to the register."
"I
know what you mean, dude," the Hispanic young man said. "I
worked McDonald's right? Got myself fired."
"Manuel,
I don't think this is the time for that story," the therapist
interjected.
"Dude,
chill, okay? So this lady, must have weighed like three hundred and
change, waddles up with her chubby kids. I'm waiting while the fat
broad makes up her mind how many pounds of burgers she's gonna scarf
down and her six year old starts yelling, 'Mommy, Mommy! I want a
Whopper!'" He snorted, rolling his eyes expressively. "So I
said, 'Kid, we don't do Whoppers here, that's Burger King.' And he
starts crying. 'How about a Big Mac and fries?' I'm being nice. She
starts to argue with me about why can't I give her dumb kid a
Whopper? I sad, 'Lady, I'd love to give him a Whopper, but we don't
do Whoppers at McDonald's.' She's screaming by this time. So I
climbed up on the counter, drop my pants and flash the entire
restaurant. 'Lady, that's
the only Whopper in the store. Okay?' I got arrested for indecent
exposure." He shrugged, fidgeting like he wanted a cigarette.
"This
is getting out of hand, Manuel."
"Hey,
ain't my fault." He shrugged, leaning back in his seat.
"I
hate bad drivers," the lady next to Letitia's right said
angrily. "Can't decide what speed to go! Can't stay in their
lanes! Blinkers going for six blocks and they slow at every cross
street!"
"Or
tail gate on a four lane road when nobody else is around," the
older man added. "I had some guy follow me back and forth like I
had a magnet on my rear. Right on my bumper. Every time I changed
lanes, he did."
"How
did you handle that, Frank?" The therapist asked despite
himself.
"Hit
my brakes and let him rear end me," Frank nodded happily,
grinning.
He
and Manuel did a high five.
"I
hate when people turn and think about it," Letitia added. "Like
they start to slow down two blocks away, with the blinker on.
Practically stop to turn in at the gas station. Come on, already! Get
out of the road! I wish I drove a huge truck or maybe a tank. POW!
I'd take 'em out!" She giggled with anticipation.
"Did
you ever see that movie, 'Death Race 2000'?" The older lady
asked.
"Dude!
I love that movie!" Manuel grinned.
"Well,
more than once," she admitted forcefully. "I've wanted to
hit the accelerator and mow people down!" She put her hands up
like she was gripping a steering wheel, mashing her foot to the
floor. "VOOOM!"
"Marie!"
the therapist was appalled. "That's it!" He bellowed.
"Class dismissed!" He got up and walked out, banging the
door behind him.
"Hey,
Chica," Manuel addressed Letitia. "You rock, baby. Want to
go out for coffee?"
"Sure!"
"Yes,
let's all go," Marie said excitedly. "I feel like stirring
up trouble."
"That's
why I love this group so much," Frank said with a grin. "I
feel so much better when it's over."
©
Dellani Oakes 2015
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