There's
an invisible spot beside my sink where dirty dishes go to hide.
Really clever dishes can hang out there 3 or 4 days without being
detected. It's a great hiding place for greasy pots and tomato sauce
encrusted spoons, dirty plates and disgusting forks.
The
most interesting thing about this invisible spot is that I'm the only
one in the house who can see into it. The dirty dishes cannot hide
from me. The men in my family—well, that's an entirely different
ballgame. It's completely hidden from them. Anything to the left of
the sink—at the edge of the metal lip, can't be seen by male eyes.
Something about that Y chromosome, I'm sure.
I've
found that the Y chromosome also seems to make them incapable of
changing out toilet paper rolls, voluntarily emptying trash cans or putting new
bags in when they're done. It makes them deaf to the sound of my
voice too.
That
Y chromosome's a pesky bugger who really likes to get under my skin.
It makes my youngest son stare at me wide eyed, wondering why I'm
yelling at him for riding his bike all over town without permission.
It
makes my husband say things like, "You got your hair cut? It's
going to take some getting used to."
My
middle son simply doesn't hear me. I can say the same thing to him
sixteen times and not get a response. "Why didn't you tell me
dinner was ready?" "I told you already." "I
didn't hear you....."
All
of them, without fail, put things away in the wrong places in my
kitchen. It's got to be a Y chromosome problem. No woman in her right
(or wrong) mind would put things where they do. I'm missing several
things right now. Got no clue what they did with them. Mr. Y also
makes them forgetful.
"Who
put the potato peeler with the measuring spoons?"
"Wasn't
me," my husband declares before I even finish speaking.
"I
didn't do it. I know where those go," the youngest says.
"I
didn't put those up," the middle one tells me. "Must have
been Dad."
Sometimes,
based on where things are put, I can tell who did it. Each of them
has a favorite wrong place for things. The measuring spoons are mixed
with the peelers (husband). The ice cream scoop is put in the knife
drawer (middle son). The metal bowls aren't properly stacked (youngest).
It's
getting so bad that it takes me twice as long to fix a meal because
I'm having to search for food items or kitchen tools as I go. I
neaten the bowls only to have the plastic containers fall out of the
cabinet at my feet. My spoons & forks are mixed up, spatulas &
rubber scrapers are stuck in the wrong drawers.
Since my eldest son and his girlfriend have been living here the last year or so, the Y factor is even stronger—so much so, it even
affects us two women from time to time.
The sink isn't the only area where things can hide. Other places also harbor the occasional invisibility vortex. One day, my plastic wrap went missing and was gone for quite awhile. I finally asked the household at large where it was.
"Where is my plastic wrap?"
Blank
stares.
"It's
red and has a baby on the outside of the box."
More
blank stares and not a word spoken.
I
know exactly where the box is. I'd located it in the garage where one of them
left it. I just wanted to see if they'd own up to it or at the very
least, bring it back inside. I bought another one, complaining loudly about the loss of the first one. It's probably
still out there.
©
Dellani Oakes 2015
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